Facebook status

There are a few exceptions, but technological advances fit two general categories. They either (a) do good for society or make people's lives easier/better, or (b) provide bored people a way to waste time. Facebook status updates fit the former like a glove. And by the former, I mean the latter. In case my sarcasm didn't come across there. Man, computers are frustrating.

I can't tell you how many times I said, "Man. I wish I could tell all my friends right now what I was doing in the third person point of view. If only there was a way..." Besides the inability to speak in first person, my favorite thing about the status updates is that it stores old ones on your wall. So you play off old posts (Note: they do take them away if they are too close together. A few weeks ago I attempted to post "JT is eating a tricuit!" and then a minute later "JT is eating another triscuit!" Unfortunately, it took the first one away.

So I present my top 10 facebook status updates (in no particular order.)

1. "Tizzle is at the county jail. He traded his 1 phone call for 1 status update. Someone come bail him out!"

2. "Tizzle is on facebook, but this will no longer be current when class is over."

3. 11:58 p.m. "Tizzle is excited for his midnight solo run through the woods!"
KEY: Do not show up to class the next morning.

4. "Tizzle is...wait for it..."
KEY: Do not post for at least another 6 days

5. "Tizzle is doing terrible things to snow angels."

6. "Tizzle is amazed when people think JT ACTUALLY stands for 'Jamaal Tyrone.' C'mon people..."

7. "Tizzle was fairly drunk last night, but was pretty sure he did not shave his puppy..."

8. "Tizzle is right behind you."
(If I read this, I would totally turn around.)

9. "Tizzle is pretty sure no one will miss that old lady..."

10. "Tizzle is wondering if Special K rode the short bus growing up."

Feel free to leave your favorite in comments if you feel so inclined. If you've had trouble posting comments in the past, I changed the settings so now anyone should be able to post comments. Word.