Monday, August 16, 2010

Federer gets his William Tell on, but IS IT REAL?

My good friend, former roommate, and #1 favorite German, Henrik, sent me this link just now, with the subject: "one question: is it real?" The video shows Roger Federer hitting a bottle off of someone's head with a tennis ball, William Tell style.

Roger is looking damn good in one hell of a suit, and it appears as if a photo shoot is wrapping up. He's talking to one of the crew members, and tells him to balance a bottle on his head. Fed then goes approx. 20 feet away, and hits a serve right at the guy, hitting the bottle and sending it flying. The camera is moving when he does it, so it's not conclusive. Then, he does it AGAIN. This time the camera is locked in place. You see him hit it, and again the bottle goes flying.

I've watched this video 7 times. While every skeptic fiber in my being (and there are a lot) wants to say that it is fake, I've come to the conclusion that IT IS REAL. Which is ridiculous. I'll take you through my thought process.

A true testament to how law school has changed me, my first thought was that he would never do something like this because of liability concerns. But the person holding the bottle seemed to be a totally consenting party accepting the risk. Plus, I am sure he wasn't hitting full speed. I doubt a miss-hit could do more than a bruise.

My second doubt was about the camera-work. But while the first shot is questionable at best, the second shot has the camera perfectly set where you can see Federer and the bottle-man. It would certainly be possible to fake this, but also possible that its real.

I think the thing that eventually swayed me to real was that it was Roger. If this was Novak Djokovic, or Andy Roddick, there would be no question in my mind that this was fake. Those guys are known for joking around and would be the type to pull something like this (Roddick did one years ago that showed him serving a ball that got lodged in a clay court). But Roger is different. Save the 2009 US Open final, he oozes class in everything he does, both on and off the court. While he is a warm personality, I just cannot believe he is the type that would make somethine like this.

I have been much more confident about many more things. There's a good chance this is fake, BUT I'm gonna go ahead and join the side of believers and say that this is REAL. Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Profiles in Awesome: Mr. Simon

My fourth edition of Profiles in Awesome looks into the sweet life of my friend Mr. Simon.

Simon currently resides in the nation's greatest city, McLean, VA. A passionate environmentalist and aspiring poet, there is a softer side that few get close enough to see. Most, however, know Simon for his strong, manly, and all-around rugged exhibition of Judaism in motion. Simon lives his life like he plays his poker - without thinking. Just doing. But the joke's on you guys - he's gotten this far without thinking, he is sure as hell not about to start now.

Simon goes hard in all aspects of life. If you see him on a diamond, you can be sure it is a baseball diamond, not a softball one. And when at the plate, he has no use for an aluminum bat you might expect to see. No, sir. Simon won't take a swing unless there's a big piece of wood in his hands. Just as courageous off the field, Simon recently went toe-to-toe in a earthquake pun-off with the Pun King himself, and held his ground (see what I did there?)

Simon is well-liked by all who cross his path. His G-chat statuses turned Google Buzz postings average 14.7 comments per post, an impressive statistic. The recent slow-down in the wave of people friending him on Facebook is not due to any lack of popularity, but rather Facebook just not being able to keep up.

An above-average poker player, a good employee, a better son, and a somewhere-in-the-middle-of-all-those friend, Mr. Simon is a great individual to have around. He's been called "the best thing since sliced Challa" (or halla, depending on whether or not you spell it right). Invite him to your next gathering and he might just buy a suit for the occasion. Or at least put on some pants. Either way, you can't go wrong. When this Simon Says, I listen.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

How To Beat the 2:30 Feeling

First of all, a happy-birthday shout out to DeVon, and to my Mom. The fact that DeVon shares a birthday with my mother has to fit into my theory that we are actually brothers. I'm not quite sure how it fits in, but it must.

Speaking of absurd theories, I posted recently about my now-not-so-secret mission to FRAME CHINA. While I recognize I may have committed a crucial error in revealing the mission on Blawegsome, I figured it was a necessary step. For one thing, let's be real how many people see what I write here? 30? Enough said. Second, I had to a message back to the higher-ups that I needed more clues to know exactly what my mission entailed.

Well that message was received. On Friday afternoon I found myself at work, energetically analyzing contracts when I came across MY NEXT CLUE. At the bottom of every page of this one contract was a numerical code. Sure, a lot of contracts have codes, but what made this one stand out was...well...that it stood out. It had to be 100 point font and bold. On every page of a 15 page document. With an asterisk on either side. Now, due to company confidentiality I cannot reveal the code, but I can say to the higher-ups: message received. I will wait for your next clue.

Finally, astute readers may have picked up something strange about that preceding paragraph. You may have noticed that I was "energetic" at work on a Friday afternoon. Everyone knows that this doesn't happen. The post-lunch coma, the 2:30 feeling, whatever you want to call it - we all know what its like. 5-hour-energy has undertaken an extensive and costly marketing campaign aimed at people who suffer from just trying to make it until 5. But there may be another way - a way I discovered this last Friday.

The story begins on Thursday afternoon. At 5:00 the sky turned dark. The wind picked up. You could just tell the sky was about to open up. And open up it did. A fierce storm rolled through Richmond, drenching umbrella-less pedestrians and breaking tree limbs like Craig breaks newly-purchased baseball bats (too soon?). I stayed at work until the storm had gone through, and then took off for home. Unfortunately, my top 5 route choices were blocked by fallen trees. I finally made it home around 6:30 to find the electricity was out. I decided I would wait it out. I laid down for a nap, turning the light-switch on, so that when the power came back on, the lights would come back on, and I would wake up. I fell asleep at about 7.

I woke up. It was still dark - no power. It was dark outside. I checked my cell-phone. 2:30 AM. That's right, I had just taken a 7.5 hour nap. Mark and Henry, my college roommates can attest to my epic napping abilities, but this may have been close to a record. Anyways, my plan actually kind of worked, because the power came back on at 2:45. Well, I was awake. I knew I was not going to be able to fall back asleep for a while. So I did what seemed logical at the time - I fired up the grill and threw on a steak. It was delicious. At about 3:30, I briefly considered just getting dressed and going into work. I decided against it, and at 4:30 decided to get back into bed. I slept from 5:00 to 8:00, then got up and started the day.

That afternoon, Lauren and I tried a near-by Greek place for lunch. I got a MASSIVE meal, I was sure the food-coma would set in. But 2:00 came by and I was as energized as ever. 3:00 - same thing. 4:00 - still going strong. It never hit me. I was shocked. And so it is with great pleasure that I announce my 3 step plan to beating the afternoon energy-suck.
Step 1: Sleep 7.5 hours.
Step 2: Grill and eat a steak.
Step 3: Sleep another 3 hours.

And you are good to go.

Happy Shark Week everyone!