As a true sports fan, I love buffalo wings. The spicier the better, gimme a tub o ranch, and I am down like a comforter. But you may also know I don't like things that are not what they claim to be. So I gotta take a little bit of issue here.
Buffaloes do not have wings. This is pretty clear, because they cannot fly. The fact that they lasted as long as they have as a species is actually astonishing. Char-Dizzle (Darwin to most people), I know you're with me on this one. They should call it survival of the fittest + buffaloes. Because Colorado needs a mascot I guess...
The simplest explanation is that buffalo wings are chicken wings with buffalo sauce. Ok, chickens have wings. More on that later. But hold the phone...buffalo sauce? Is this sauce made out of buffaloes? Do buffaloes like it? Did they invent it? Are buffaloes known for being saucy individuals? Frankly, I don't see how buffaloes have the remotest connection to the delicious spicy sauce that covers my wings. My sources on the inside say we're about 17 years away from being able to translate animal brain waves into thoughts. When we do, I will find a buffalo, hook him up, inform him of the situation, and we'll see the reaction. I'll keep you posted.
If what I am eating is really chicken wings, then how are their "boneless buffalo wings?" There is no way that this is the same part of the chicken. I don't think boneless buffalo wings are really "wings" at all. For that matter, I'm not even sure chicken wings are.
Like I said, I love the food, so I won't complain too much, but food that claims to be something else is frontin like my momma (the opposite of stuntin like my daddy).
Full disclosure: My mom does not front. She is awesome. Mom, if you're reading, I love you.
as a rule i hate buffalo-flavored anything! as someone from buffalo - where no food is buffalo-flavored - where hot sauce is actually called hot sauce and not "buffalo sauce" - where there is actually more than one flavor of chicken wing - i reject your theory that you like buffalo wings since they don't really exist. i will fight you on this.
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