I've been sitting on this information for a while, but after months of gathering evidence I think it's time it was revealed. While most of us look around and see only normal law students, that is not always the case. One of us is actually a SUPERHERO. That's right. Superman, Batman, The Human Torch all have several traits in common in their pursuit of justice and bringing good to the universe. Ladies and gentlemen one of us is in their company. I am speaking, of course, of DeVon. Allow me to explain.
Wikipedia lists the following common traits of super-heroes:
-Extraordinary powers/abilities, relevant skills, and/or advanced equipment. DeVon's dancing skills, comedic stylings, and the face you get when he disapproves of something you do all combine to create the unmatched power of making people smile and laugh. Though they may appear to be normal sunglasses, DeVon's shades are far from ordinary. The wearer's skill at beer pong increases 75% whilst wearing the glasses, and his/her hair will naturally begin to become dreads.
-A strong moral code, including a willingness to risk one's own safety in the service of good without expectation of reward. Once while crossing boatwright drive a car came speeding out of nowhere. At the last second I was shoved out of the way into a bush. Looking up, I saw only a figure running into the darkness towards a silver Chevy Impala. Though he denies knowledge of the incident, I know the truth of what happened that dark and stormy night. And he is, after all, in law school. What better way to dispense justice than with a J.D.?
-A motivation, such as a sense of responsibility. Pure, genuine humor is rare in law school. Blessed with the power to make people laugh, he is responsible for bringing much needed joy into our sometimes dark days. It's a gift...and a curse.
-A secret identity. DeVon's secret identity is Mr. Simmons. This happens when DeVon wears a suit. Mr. Simmons is the hard-working, interview-attending version of DeVon. Though some days we only have Mr. Simmons, DeVon is always out there looking out for us...
-A distinctive costume. If you think DeVon's shoes aren't distinctive than you must have only met Mr. Simmons.
-A supporting cast of recurring characters. I like to count myself in this group. Recurring characters may or may not know of his powers/identity, so if all this is news to you, don't worry, hope remains.
-A number of enemies that he/she fights repeatedly. Enemies include the Bluebook, ConLaw, his mother when she thinks he looks tired and turns of his alarm so he can get more sleep, and country music.
-Independent wealth or an occupation that allows for minimal supervision. DeVon DJs on Tuesday nights. And yet he can often be seen in the library or the DU at the same time. Coincidence? I think not.
-A headquarters or base of operations, usually kept hidden from the general public. I have asked DeVon at least 3 times where he lives. Never before have I met someone so vague with their answers. Oh, and he just happens to live 25-30 minutes away. So it will never be convenient to do anything at his house. Something smells fishy, and I'm goin fishin.
-A backstory that explains the circumstances by which the character acquired his or her abilities as well as his or her motivation for becoming a superhero. Many origin stories involve tragic elements and/or freak accidents that result in the development of the hero's abilities. I'd say growing up in Buffalo is tragic enough. I KNOW being a Bills fan certainly is.
Well, I think the evidence is clear. Even his name is so good there is no need for a cheesy super hero name. His alter-ego is Mr. Simmons, but when he does good, bringing joy and laughter to us all in desperate times, he is...DeVon.
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