The Million

It's time for a segment called "Hilarious News Stories From Our Past" Tonight's story dates back to March 2004. In early March, Alice Pike went to Wal-Mart to do some shopping. Quite a bit of shopping actually, she gathered almost $1,700 dollars worth of merchandise. At the register, she attempted to pay with 2 Wal-Mart gift cards, but the cashier informed her that together the cards had a total of $2.32 on them. Looking through her purse she said "all I have is this" and handed the cashier a fake $1,000,000 bill. The cashier called the police, and the woman was arrested.

Ms. Pike said she was given the bill by her estranged husband, and that she THOUGHT IT WAS REAL. Ok, even if I get passed going around an filling up your cart with $1700 worth of stuff when you only have $2.32 in gift cards and a milli burnin' a hole in your purse, was she expecting change? Not a whole lot of people/banks out there can break a million.

I still don't know why you are carrying that around like it's nothing. Wouldn't you think that you would deposit it in the bank? What better way to find out for sure if it's real? Well, that's just what one guy did about 3.5 years later in South Carolina. He tried to open a checking a count with a million dollar bill. The bank employee called the police, and he too was arrested.

Instead of criticizing these people, I'm gonna get behind em. We need a million dollar bill out there. It could simplify real estate transactions. Find a real nice house, make the offer - a million dollars. When it's accepted, BAM. Through down the bill. My next mission would be to get a thousand of them and a large rubber band just to show up V.I.C. "I guess you CAN put a rubber band around a billion."

The million dollar bill, coming soon to a Wal-Mart near you.