Pizzly Bears

Before I forget, a shout out goes to Hornbook for a great line: "I swear slightly more than the average bear." It's probably a had to be there kind of thing, but trust me it was hilarious.

It's official. The brief has taken over my mind. I think the break point was on the ride home from softball today. We were blessed with a classic on the radio, Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" Tim and I began changing the words to arguments and key words from our briefs and singing along with the tune. Funny? Without a doubt. Depressing? Even more so. I swore it would never come to this, but I'm afraid it has. I am sure I'm not alone out there, so to all my fellow sufferers, just a couple more days and we'll be through it!

But enough of that. Tonight I want to make everyone of a threat to our well being. I speak, of course, of the pizzly bear. Not three years ago, a pizzly bear, a grizzly bear/polar bear hybrid, was discovered. Despite what Coke commercials try to have us believe, polar bears are one of the fiercest creatures out there. There are three animals that hunt not for sport. Humans, wolverines, and polar bears. One of the most important advantages we have over them is the fact that they need the ice cold climate of the Arctic to survive.

The existence of the Pizzly bear is disturbing for just that reason. If the ferocity of polar bears were combined with a grizzly bear's ability to survive in temperate climate than we could be in trouble. And by we, I mean Canada. Fortunately for us, little evidence of further bear cross breeding has been uncovered, but my fears are not completely calmed. Clearly, these bears are smarter than we give them credit for. They have taken the steps to eliminate their main weakness. I'm guessing they are breeding up a pizzly bear army in secret, and this one that was discovered was a warning of the fury that will be released.

In Richmond, we should be safe. But if you see any suspicious looking bears, run for cover and call the pizzly bear hotline at 1-800-PIZZLY!