Profiles in Awesome: Noodles

Tonight I present part 3 of my 497-part series, "Profiles in Awesome." Today's story recognizes someone who perhaps is too awesome...to the point that it sheds questions on her classification as a human being. I speak, of course, of Noodles.

Spend some time around TC-Dub School of Law and you will no doubt run into Noodles before long. She can be easily identified by her glorious black curls, her ridiculously thick binders littered/organized with purple sticky-notes, or by her most identifiable characteristic - her obsession with Google Reader. As a result, she is quick to find some of the funniest stories/videos the Internet has to offer. The classic Noodles "nervous-smile" comes when she is enjoying the little things in life while constantly holding down the feeling that everything is going wrong and she is doomed.

Unlike other pastas, this Noodles is sometimes highly motivated. She is driven by completing tasks on To-Do lists, and often writes down items that she has already completed, so that she can check them off immediately. Well she could write down "Be Awesome" to start every list and always have at least one down.

Basically, Noodles is one of the most awesome characters around. However, I am currently gathering evidence to support my theory that she is, in fact, a robot.

If I had to pick one person who I was most sure was NOT a robot, I would pick Noodles. This is exactly the kind of situation that a robot would make happen. Despite multiple statements that her brief was inferior, Noodles was awarded the "Best Brief" award during last Fall's Moot Court competition. Her bluebooking was superb and machine-like. When confronted with this fact, she was quick to point out that next to a mistake in her brief, an editor simply wrote the word "FAIL." Hmm...a simple command that a robot would understand...interesting.

Noodles keeps a pink sombrero in the back of her car, but never wears it. This is obviously a souvenir of a poor defenseless old woman she did in after she got the information her programmer requested. I see no other possible explanation.

It's true that Noodles exhibits many emotions normally only associated with humans. In fact, I have it on good authority that she has covered the entire range of all human emotions in no less than 17 minutes. There really is only one possible explanation - Noodles is an even more advanced model than I thought. Any robot looking to effectively blend in as a human would no doubt be able to show emotions in order to throw off suspicions.

I'm still gathering the evidence. Noodles will be quick to deny any robot identity for fear of being shot in the face with a shotgun (the appropriate treatment for any undercover robot). But be warned...things might not be as they appear.