1,000 Ways To Die

Over Spring Break, I found myself flipping through the channels one night. I came across a show on Spike called "1,000 Ways To Die" I'll admit it - I had no idea what the show was about but decided to select it just because its name sounded intriguing.

As it turns out, 1,000 Ways To Die is a "documentary" show that details unusual stories of death. Simply put, they recreate Darwin-award type stories, film them, and add ridiculous and cheesy puns and one-liners to the narration. They do not necessarily have to be the "someone does something stupid and ends up dying" story, but from what I saw they usually are. A half-hour show usually details 6-8 stories, with each story being about 3 minutes long.

A couple examples:
-A man was behind on his rent when his landlord came a-knockin'. Looking for a hiding place, he hopped into his Murphy Bed and folded it up into the wall. When his landlord left, he tried to fold the bed back down, but was stuck. He tried to yell, but he was a amateur musician and had soundproofed his walls, so no one could hear him. He suffocated.

-A man was...how shall I put this...engaging in romantic activities with his paramour. She liked to engage in a post-romance cigarette, but he didn't like this. So she went out and got some nicotine patches. Figuring if 1 was good, and 2 was better, she slapped a whole bunch of nicotine patches onto her body. You can guess how that one worked out for her.

And my personal favorite so far:
-An old man wasn't able to drive anymore. However, he still liked to sit in his car and listen to the radio. He lived at the top of a hill. One day, while sitting in the car, he passed out...and didn't wake up. He died right there in the car. Around the same time, the parking break failed, and the car rolled down the hill, picking up speed.
Meanwhile, 2 blocks away, a man had stolen someone's purse and was on the run. He bolted into an intersection...and got NAILED by the car as it plummeted down the road. The guy who got hit died. That's right. Dead guy behind the wheel hits and kills robber on the run. Classic.

Each story is accompanied by experts showing the science behind the death. But the best part of the show is without a doubt the horribly cheesy and ridiculous puns and one-liners sprinkled throughout every story. An example - when the man threatened to break off relations if the woman kept smoking, the narrator said "the stroking and the poking was no longer worth the smoking..." I'd venture a guess that there are usually at least 9 jokes per 3-minute segment, most of which will leave you groaning and shaking your head. But the overall amusement factor is high.

Bottom line - I wouldn't recommend scheduling any time out of your day to catch this show, or planning on watching it at any point. But if (1) you are bored, (2 there is nothing else on, and (3) you have a twisted sense of humor like me, feel free to give it a shot.