Whatever, I Do What i Want: Classroom Edition

There are a lot of different ways to hate on people. Weekend update does "Really?!?! with Seth (and sometimes Amy)." That guy on YouTube does "C'mon Son" Colbert does "Wag of the Finger." As for Blawegsome, I've done mine through one of my oldest segments - the "Whatever, I Do What I Want" Award.

Today's WIDWIW Award goes to Mr. Braswell. Sir, for a long time we put up with your refusal to whisper your comments in class, and instead say them in a voice only slightly quieter than normal, making it difficult for anyone within a 15-foot radius to actually hear the professor. But this award goes to you for a more recent...how should I put this...abomination you have brought into our lives.

I refer to Mr. Braswell's "reading assistant" - a stand that he can prop his book up on so he can read it easier. There are a lot of things in the world that make life difficult. Having to look down to read something in your book is not one of them. And don't even try to say that it saves space on the desk. If you try to pull that, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told the guy in New York this weekend who opened his coat to show me a "rolex" - I'm not buying it.

If you insist on being fancy and making the rest of us look like fools, let me go ahead and give you some more merchandise to look into. You could get a teacup, and every time you answer a question in class, you could take a sip of tea. But don't forget to stick that pinky out - cause otherwise you're just a commoner drinking tea. You could get some polo shirts and pop the collar. You could get some pants that are fancy. That would be entirely appropriate. Cause when you bust out that book stand, that's all you become to me. Mr. Fancypants.

Maybe one day I will come around and see the wisdom in your ways. But today, I can't bring myself to give you props for that book stand (pun intended). I hope it unexpectedly snaps one day, creates a class disturbance, and causes you an embarrassing moment. Good day.