Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I heart America

Most of the time, I am my own harshest critic. But when it comes to the frequency of my posts, that title has to go to you people. Yes, it is true that I don't post to blawegsome as often as I used to. And you guys (read Jill, Erin, and Carolyn) definitely do not let me forget it.

So why the drop in posting frequency? Perhaps I am busier these days. Perhaps notable funny things just aren't happening a lot. Maybe I've exhausted my material. Maybe you guys have just stopped doing awesome things to earn shout outs. (don't worry, that's not it. you guys rock.)

OR MAYBE there is some deeper purpose out there. I am a lot of things - short, sarcastic, obnoxious at times, humorous at others. I do triathlons and every 6 months or so I play 1 awesome game of basketball. I am a cheese connoisseur, and a cauliflower hater. But damn it I am an American. And in these troubled times, we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good. (the greater good).

My friend Carolyn put this together. It's kind of hard to see, but the blue line represents the frequency of my posts since February, and the purple line represents the Dow Jones Industrial Average.




Notice the strong negative correlation between the frequency of my posts and the Dow Jones Industrial average. That's right. When I post less, the stock market goes up. I am not being lazy, I am doing my part to turn this recession around! So to all my recent haters, who are disappointed when they don't have a brand new post to read in class every day, let me ask you this: Why do you hate America? Or, to put it in angry-dad-on-a-road-trip terms, "Don't make me turn this stock market around! Cause I will!"

We all do our part. Sure, I could post more. But do you really want to see that purple line come back down? I didn't think so. USA! USA! USA!

*If you just started chanting USA in your head, you've earned 20 awesome points. If you did it out load, you got 200. Congrats.

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