Given my somewhat abrupt switch from teaching to Law School, I would not be at all surprised if at some point in the future I end up as a teacher or a professor. Given full control of a classroom, I think there are some things I would do to make things interesting. We've all been in a class where people fall asleep, or don't even bother to show up. Aren't there things that professors could do to keep kids coming back? Glad you asked.
1. In my class, I will have a T-Shirt gun. The kind they have at stadiums. I will adjust the range to fit the size of my lecture hall. First day, 3 kids will get t-shirts. The front will say "I attended Professor Blau's lecture and all I got was this lousy T-shirt..." and on the back it will say "...AND KNOWLEDGE!" (Special thanks to my awesome legal research professor for that one.) I sit front row center, so the kid who sits there will definitely get one. He'll have to have good hands, cause I'll be using the T-shirt gun from short range.
As the class goes on and word gets around about my T-shirt gun, I will find different things to fire out. Miniature candy bars. If things get too out of hand, then it will be cheetos. Not bags of cheetos...unwrapped, orange powder covered cheetos. Will it be a mess? Yes. Will a few laptops get ruined? Sure. An unforgettable experience for all involved? Definitely.
On exam day, the gun will be used to distribute exams. The risk of paper cuts is slightly elevated, but I think it will be worth it.
2. I will open and close every class with a clip from "Scrubs" by the time I am a professor, I guess this will be one of those old shows that none of my students will have seen except for reruns. I will laugh hysterically, and they will laugh out of pity for me...
3. Hamster breaks. During the class, I will bring my 10 hamsters, put them each in a ball, and set them loose. If you get called on, and don't know the answer. Rather than try to BS something and waste every one's time, just take a "hamster break." This is where you don't answer the question. Instead, you just grab a ball, go outside, and play with the hamster for 5 minutes. Class continues without you.
4. I will distribute to students some "software" to install on their computers for use during class. This will be a cover up. What they are actually installing on their computers is a device that will beep obnoxiously loudly if they go on any social networking site. (Note: I would say facebook and the such, but who knows what we will have in the future?) The best part about this is that it will happen more than once. There will undoubtedly be other people who skipped the class that day. When they do show up, they are pretty likely to hit up one of these sites. Embarrassing for a few, but that's just part of the fun, right?
Just a couple ideas. I'll post more if any brilliant ones come to me. I think after a couple years, I might be able to convince someone that the "T" actually stands for "T-Shirt Gun..."
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