WIDWIW: PowerBar

Tonight we issue yet another "Whatever, I Do What I Want!" Award.

Tonight's WIDWIW award goes to the producers of the latest PowerBar commercial. The commercial features Lamar Odom, who shows up at a local random gym. When someone asks him what he's doing, he says "Just eatin' new PowerBar Energy Blasts...before I go dunk on the moon." He pops in a PowerBar blast, grabs a ball, and then blasts upward with a rocket on his back.

Ok. I get it. Eat PowerBar and I can jump really high.

But here's where things go wrong. On his way up, Odom says "Get outta my way, Saturn!" He says this as he passes what is clearly Saturn - a planet with rings. After a mid-space refuel, he finally reaches the moon, which has a basketball hoop on it, that he dunks on.

There's obviously a lot of ridiculous fiction going on here that I can forgive. But one thing I just can't let slide on by. Really? He has to pass Saturn to get to the Moon? I had no idea Saturn was on the way. There wasn't any other space object that you could pick that might ACTUALLY be in the way, rather than choose a planet that is 142,316,000 kilometers OUT of the way. Was "outta my way, asteroid" or "outta my way, alien" too difficult for Lamar to say? I doubt it.

Maybe I am missing the point. Maybe everything about the commercial is so ridiculous that Saturn was intentionally chosen to add to the effect. I guess that would make sense. I really hope that's the case. If not, then congratulations, producers, for your own take on astronomy.

Birthday Wishes and HTTM:CTAM

Today is a special day. February 26th doesn't have a whole lot of significance to the vast majority of the population, but for me it is important for two very good reasons.

The first is that today is Henry's birthday. Sir, I hope you are enjoying yourself in beautiful weather down in Florida, and that everything is splendid and grand. We will meet again soon.

The second reason is that today begins a month of anticipation and excitement. Today is February 26th, which means that we are now officially one month from the release of the greatest cinematic production of the millennium.

I speak, of course, about Hot Tub Time Machine.

I have been looking forward to this movie for what feels like years (in reality, it has only been a few months). The following is the description of the plot on IMDB's web page for the film:

"Four guy friends, all of them bored with their adult lives, travel back to their respective 80s heydays thanks to a time-bending hot tub."

I don't know how I am going to make it through this month. The film...nay...experience....stars John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke.

It's hard for me to put into words my true feelings for this movie. After an extensive search for a representative metaphor, here's what I got. There are snakes that go months without eating. Then they finally catch something, but are so hungry that they suffocate while eating. Am I saying that i will die from seeing this movie? Well that depends - can you die from laughter? Time, specifically time travel in a hot tub, will tell.

And so begins what I now dedicate as HTTM:CTAM - Hot Tub Time Machine: Countdown to Awesome Month. T minus 28 days. If there is a midnight show Thursday night, I will be there. In the words of Tim, "All holds barred!"

Finally, today's quote of the day comes from Liesl.
"Can you imagine me kickboxing? I actually pack a really lame punch...
I would want to meet me in a dark alley."

That's all for now. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

In case you haven't seen the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DCFPS58KYY

Omegle, Chatroulette, and Broken Bones

A couple months ago I discovered Omegle (sorry, I can't remember who told me about it. If I remembered I would give you credit!) Anyway, the concept is simple - you hit a button, and it connects you to another user. Anywhere in the world. You just IM back and forth, and you can disconnect at any point and move on to someone else.

This seemed like a recipe for disaster. I could pretty much write the story already - old creepy person convinces young impressionable teen to reveal details about themselves and meet them somewhere. Shocking news and law suit ensue.

But I came around. I mean, it's just text. How bad could it be? I decided to give it a shot. Here is a transcript of my first conversation:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hot male w pic?
You: no
You: no I am not
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

To be honest, I really should have seen that coming.
But of course, like all things on the Internet, it has been taken further.

If you haven't heard of Omegle, you may have heard of Chatroulette (thanks David for filling me in). It's the same concept - hit a button, connect to anyone in the world, and disconnect at any time. The difference is that instead of just text, its done using your webcam and microphone. So you actually see and hear the person on the other end.

Unfortunately, it appears that upwards of 46% of chatroulette users are...how shall I put this...males enjoying the pleasure of their own company. And I must say, I really do not need to see that. And by I, I think I speak for everyone. Chatroulette is once again a great idea taken a horrible direction by people of the world. A great big thank you to all those guys out there.

Anyway, try either at your own risk.

On a different note, a sincere Get-Well-Soon to Lisa, who broke her wrist snowboarding this weekend. David was able to avoid such an injury by, as he put it, "resisting the instinct to stop yourself with your hands." So kudos, David, for stopping yourself with your face instead. In a related note, do you snowboard in circles because one leg is shorter than the other?

My advice has always been the same - if you're gonna get hurt, do it in a car accident that isn't your fault. My BFF Carolyn had the same injury after getting T-boned, and I imagine it's a lot easier dealing with the recovery with a few grand to help out. It just seems like a logical solution, that's all.

Well that's all for now. This Computer Law paper outline isn't going to write itself.
Note to self: Invent self-writing outline.

Quote of the Day, and Why, Law School, Why?

Today's Quote of The Day comes from Jenn and Sue

Sue: "You're more Asian than I am."
Jenn: "That's true...oh! Guess what I had for lunch?!?"
Sue: "Rice?"
Jenn: "No, cheese and crackers."

Want more? You got it! An unprecedented Quote of the Yesterday comes from Michael

Michael: "I break out to Nair"


I had a moment recently that best described the side of me that is frustrated by law school. In Criminal Procedure, we've been talking about when Fourth Amendment searches and seizures are appropriate. As it turns out, the standard is quite different for homes as opposed to cars. There's a slew of cases that establish the different standards to be used in each case.

It took a while, but I eventually was able to wrap my head around each. I finally had it all figured out. I then looked at my syllabus, opened my book to our next case, and read the following:

"We granted certiorari to decide whether law enforcement agents violated the Fourth Amendment when the conducted a warrantless search, based on probable cause, of a fully mobile "motor home" located in a public place."

Really? I get this distinction between homes and cars, and then you throw me a motor home?!?!?! Thanks. Thanks a lot. I was, however, greatly amused by the dissent's humor, who described the inquiry of whether the motor home was a house or a car as follows: "If the motor home was parked in the exact middle of the intersection between the general rule and the exception..." But after all this talk about parking and intersections, he concluded it should be treated more like a house. Nice one, Justice Stevens. Nailed it.

Profiles in Awesome: Mr. Libby

Today I present part 2 of my 497 part series, "Profiles in Awesome." Today's spotlight shines on someone near and dear to some of us - Mr. Libby.

Rather than starting at the start, Mr. Libby's awesomeness begins in the middle...his middle name that is: "Danger." Don't believe it? I didn't at first, but as it turns out, it's in his email address, so it must be true.

Those looking to g-chat with this leader of men roll over his name and are encountered with two things. The first is a clever g-chat status. It is currently "Tremendously Tremendous." This beautiful adverb-adjective combo describes not only the quality of his life but the feeling he brings to anyone around him. The second thing you encounter is his picture - a Furby. It takes a confident man to represent himself to the world with such an image. But last time I checked, confidence is a POSITIVE character trait, which means Mr. Libby is not lacking it in the slightest

As a child growing up in the northern wilderness of Maine, Mr. Libby enjoyed lumberjacking, lobstering, and watching "Aaahh...Real Monsters!". As a third-grader, he read at a sixth-grade reading level. To this day, he holds the record at his Elementary School for most successful Oregon Trail ventures.

Today, Mr. Libby spends his time on law school related activities, spending time with his beloved canine friend, Goose, hustling unsuspecting opponents in beer pong )by pretending to be bad, and then going, in his own words, "En Fuego"), or just generally spreading joy to those around him.

Citizens of Las Vegas - be aware. Mr. Libby is headed your way shortly. You are in for a treat.

Google Buzz and WWTD

It's been a while. My apologies for the delay, but I'll get right to it.

Google's latest feature has been causing quite the...what's the word...something like commotion, but shorter and catchier...not sure. Anyway, I'm talking about Buzz. Buzz is basically Facebook status without Facebook. Twitter without the character limit.

But the biggest plus for Buzz compared to these other two is it's convenience. It's right there in the same window as your Gmail, and you get a notification EVERY time someone posts something new, or someone comments on someone else's post. You can control really easily who your following, and it suggests people to follow.

Putting any privacy concerns aside (Google going through your contacts, etc.) I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm a fan. For the most part. And here's why.

1. Auto-post. As soon as I finish this entry, not only will it be uploaded onto Blawegsome, but it will also show up as a Buzz entry. This is pretty sweet. You can also set Buzz to upload your tweets. Ok...I'm alright with this. What I am NOT ok with is people setting it to upload their G-chat status. I can see your G-chat status. It's right there, like 2 inches below the Buzz link. If I don't need to go to a separate website to see it, having it show up on Buzz is worthless. C'mon people.

2. Picture and Link viewer. If your post has a link or a picture, it will show a mini version of the link or picture in your Buzz. This is nothing new - facebook status has been doing this for a while - but it is a 1-up on Twitter and is super convenient.

3. One-click-and-done. If your little buzz counter says Buzz(4) and you are tired of having to see it bolded, all you have to do is click it, and it will load up and then go back to zero. This is different from, say, Google Reader, where you have to scroll through posts to have them marked as "read." Noodles - please forgive me for saying something bad about Google Reader. Don't go all Spicy Noodles on me now...

4. It's optional. If you don't like it, disable it. It's that easy.

Overall, I'm a fan. It keeps me posted on the random thoughts of others - which is a nice break from my own welcome thoughts.


I'll leave you with this, my first edition of WWTD, or What Would Temple Do?
Here's the situation - you are coming down the stairs and see your friend sitting at the bottom on a phone conversation. If you are Temple - what do you do?

A) Walk by and pretend he does not exist

B) Walk by and wave, but don't say anything as to not interrupt the conversation.

C) Stop on the stairs so you are directly above him, and hock a loogie in fake preparation for a spit attack.

If you guessed C...you are correct! Don't get me wrong though - it was hilarious. I fully encourage hocking in a variety of situations. The fact that she didn't realize I was being interviewed made it so much better. You da man, Temple...well...sort of...

Next post will be sooner. I promise.

Winter Olympics: Making them Better.

Tonight's main focus is on the Winter Olympics. It's no secret that the Winter games are generally regarded as inferior or less interesting than the Summer games. Maybe its because the summer games have more variety. Maybe its because the US is better. Is it a lost cause? Or are there things we could do to make the Winter games more interesting? A few ideas come to mind.

1. Ok, the Winter games are definitely not opposed to combining disciplines. Nordic Combined mixes ski-jumping and cross-country skiing. Biathlon brings cross country skiing and rifle shooting together. This is a good start, but why not take it to the next level? For biathlon - replace the rifles with paintball guns and the target range with the short-track speed skating course. Moving targets are much more fun, and throwing the threat of getting nailed with a paintball would definitely change speed skating. I think for the better.

2. Curling is totally underrated, but not likely to gain popularity without a drastic change. So, have both teams go at once. From opposite ends. Here's how it goes. Each country has two teams - 1 team on each end of the ice. At the same time, 1 team from each side shoots the rock. The threat of a mid ice collision would really test their skills.

3. Minimize mechanical difficulties during the opening ceremony. I get that it's elaborate, but if you're gonna have 4 people standing there with torches, you should really have 4 pillars for them to light. I guess China set the bar way too high anyway.

4. The summer Olympics not only have more sports, but they are things which normal people can relate to - running, basketball, tennis. Even if we can't do them as well as Olympic athletes, we can still DO them. The Winter games needs to cater to the little guy as well.
Some potential sports:
-Snowball fighting
-Hot cocoa drinking
-Artistically bailing out of a sled before you hit that tree/fence.
-Snowman building
-Tunnel digging: you have to dig a tunnel and get your team to some location. Tell me you would not watch that.

Just some thoughts. IOC - Call me and we'll discuss.

I must say thanks to everyone for the feedback on the "Williamsburg State of Mind" video. The response has been overwhelmingly awesome. Thanks to everyone who watched it, I hope you liked it! We really appreciate all the wall posts and texts and everything. You guys rock.

That's all for now. Oh and speaking of Winter, here's to hoping that we are finally done with massive snowstorms for the winter. The first one was cool. The one that canceled school for a day was nice too. But at this point any more would just be snowverkill.

The Perfect High Five

One of my favorite "cool tricks" is the elbow trick. When you are giving someone a high-five, the best way to avoid an embarrassing miss is to look at the other person's elbow. If you lock your eyes on the other person's elbow, and just let your hand swing in for the high five naturally, and the other person does the same, you won't miss. Guaranteed. 60% of the time, it works every time.

This is pretty awesome. But it was not nearly as awesome as what happened when I shared this tidbit with Nick, Jill, and CJ. I demonstrated with Jill. She thought it was kind of cool. As did Nick. CJ, though, seemed skeptical. This is a common reaction. Let's do a little quiz here.

What did CJ do next?

A) Claimed she didn't believe it, but refused to try it with someone at the risk of being proven wrong.

B) Claimed she didn't believe it, tried it with Nick, but intentionally missed to try to prove a point.

C) Tried it with Nick, had it work, and became a believer.

D) Tried it...with herself. Stared at her elbows and gave herself a high-five. Aka clapped. Then proceeded to close her eyes and flail her arms about convinced she was "trying it out."

If you guessed D, you are correct. CJ...when other people are around, and someone shares something with you about giving people high-fives, how could you possibly think that the best course of action is to try it out with yourself? There were at least 3 other people around who would have been willing to give you a high-five!


Also, it's a snow day! More on that later, but for now, a little reminder that the snow can be tough on some: Teddy Bears.
http://dcist.com/2010/02/snowmaggedon_10_in_time_lapse.php
(Special thanks to Annie for the link!)

Newly Renovated Bathrooms: A Review

After months of construction, the bathrooms across form the library have finally opened up again. A few observations:

(Please note: I have only been in the Men's bathroom. I cannot speak for the Ladies' room.)

The first thing I noticed was the first temporary signs put up: "MENS" and WOMANS." This was quickly changed to "WOMENS RESTROOM." No harm, no foul.

When you first walk in, you are encountered by a large amount of stainless steel. I almost thought I was in a Chipotle. But it looks nice and shiny, so I'm a fan.

The old smell has been replaced by the smell of new paint. When this fades, hopefully it will be a pleasant...well, lets go with neutral...smell.

Here's the most interesting thing. For a guy using the urinal, going through the process (don't worry, this is G-rated) involves switching from hands to hands free quite often. Allow me to explain...
-Open the door to the bathroom: Hands Required.
-Flush the Urinal: No Hands Required (It's automatic)
-Get soap: Hands Required
-Rinse off hands: No Hands Required (Sink is automatic)
-Dry off hands: Hands Required

Why the discrepancy here? Ok, maybe an automatic door is too much, but if you install an automatic flushing urinal and an automatic sink, why would you not also install an automatic soap dispenser? And how about an automatic paper towel dispenser, or an air dryer? It just doesn't make sense!

All in all though, I'm pretty pleased with the new restrooms. It's at least nice to have them open again.

Whatever, I Do What i Want: Classroom Edition

There are a lot of different ways to hate on people. Weekend update does "Really?!?! with Seth (and sometimes Amy)." That guy on YouTube does "C'mon Son" Colbert does "Wag of the Finger." As for Blawegsome, I've done mine through one of my oldest segments - the "Whatever, I Do What I Want" Award.

Today's WIDWIW Award goes to Mr. Braswell. Sir, for a long time we put up with your refusal to whisper your comments in class, and instead say them in a voice only slightly quieter than normal, making it difficult for anyone within a 15-foot radius to actually hear the professor. But this award goes to you for a more recent...how should I put this...abomination you have brought into our lives.

I refer to Mr. Braswell's "reading assistant" - a stand that he can prop his book up on so he can read it easier. There are a lot of things in the world that make life difficult. Having to look down to read something in your book is not one of them. And don't even try to say that it saves space on the desk. If you try to pull that, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told the guy in New York this weekend who opened his coat to show me a "rolex" - I'm not buying it.

If you insist on being fancy and making the rest of us look like fools, let me go ahead and give you some more merchandise to look into. You could get a teacup, and every time you answer a question in class, you could take a sip of tea. But don't forget to stick that pinky out - cause otherwise you're just a commoner drinking tea. You could get some polo shirts and pop the collar. You could get some pants that are fancy. That would be entirely appropriate. Cause when you bust out that book stand, that's all you become to me. Mr. Fancypants.

Maybe one day I will come around and see the wisdom in your ways. But today, I can't bring myself to give you props for that book stand (pun intended). I hope it unexpectedly snaps one day, creates a class disturbance, and causes you an embarrassing moment. Good day.

Blawegsome on Location: Richmond Airport

Sometimes you wake up with an unwavering feeling that something about today will be epic or extraordinary. Today was one of those days.

The plan for the day was simple: Trademark class at 10, where Dave and I would do one last practice argument. Then Crim Pro at 11. Head to the airport for a 4:00 flight to LaGuardia. Check into the hotel. Prep, and hit the sack early for the competition tomorrow.

Unfortunately, Madre Nature-o had other ideas.The day began at 7:00. I woke up and looked outside. While there was still plenty of snow leftover from last weekends snowstorm, no new flakes were falling. I emailed Dave, and we decided we would go to class. By 9:00 it was starting to come down hard. But it wasn't sticking yet...we had some time.

We mooted for the TM class. All was going well. By 11, the snow was starting to stick, so we decided it would be best to head to the airport and try to get an earlier flight. Got there safely, parked the car. As we are standing waiting for the shuttle to the terminal, Dave gets a voicemail. Our flight has been cancelled. We get to the terminal, to see if there's anything they can do. Fortunately, there are two seats on a different flight headed to JFK that is still running. We'll take em!

After initially questioning the validity of our transfer, the Delta people confirmed that we did in fact have seats on the plane.

A crisis has been averted. It is currently 2:00, the flight leaves in about 40 minutes. Something tells me the drama of today is far from over...

An update and more to come later!

Profiles in Awesome: S-Dub

There are some pretty awesome people walking the halls of TC Williams SoL (that's school of law, although at times we may feel like it stands for something else...) One of them is known by several names to her numerous acquaintances. To me, she is simply S-Dub.

You may have seen S-Dub around. Blonde hair. A seemingly endless supply of sweaters. A pep in her step that says "make it quick, I'm busy!" but a welcoming "how was your day?" smile. She often spends several an hour in the computer lab, available to anyone with Lexis needs, or candy needs as the case may be.

Besides being awesome, S-Dub's activities include composing flowing prose and comprehensive case briefs in ridiculously small and neat handwriting. Another one of her pastimes is dishing out inspirational quotes and heart-warming anecdotes. Sample some of her recent beauties:

-"I saw a headline, and it said 'NBA guard found with gun in locker room.' I thought, well that's not that weird. I mean he's a guard. And then I realized, and I was like 'oh...they meant like a POINT guard...'"
-"The house of love will be open for guests!" (referring to her home)
-(Frank and I said something at the same time) "Jinx! Now...one of you owes the other one a soda."
-"Is there weather happening outside?"

The kindest of hearts does S-Dub have. Just this afternoon, she offered her entire left arm be lost so that an insect might be spared. (Ok...maybe she was terrified of a bug and froze up to the point of appearing temporarily paralyzed. Maybe.) She is always up for a discussion of last night's Glee, but if you're lookin for a sugarcoater, head on down the road. S-Dub is a straight shooter. She'll tell it like it is.

So if you see S-Dub relaxing in the lab or headed towards her carrel, be sure to say hello. You will be glad that you did.

Snowmageddon 2

If there are two things that I love, they are snow and movie sequels. Snow because...well...snow is just awesome. Things close, people go crazy, and you can play in it. Not to mention the preceding madness at a grocery store near you. What's not to love? As for movie sequels, the best part is that some movies feel the need to enhance their movie sequel by working a pun involving the number 2 into the title or giving it a tag line, or sometimes both!

Examples:
Pun - 2 Fast 2 Furious
Tagline - Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver
Both - Step Up 2: The Streets

Anyway, snow and movie sequels may seem unrelated, but allow me to explain. In mid-December, the East Coast got rocked with a massive snowstorm. Many called it the "Snowpocalypse." Personally, I preferred "Snowmageddon." Anyway, last night we got hit, YET AGAIN with a massive snowstorm. This got me thinking - if there was a movie about the first storm called "Snowmageddon," What would the sequel be called?

(Sidenote: I fully understand the irony of this situation. An apocalypse or armageddon implies the END, so the idea of a sequel is pretty ridiculous. But, just work with me here, ok?)

Here's some ideas:
Snowmageddon 2: Just when you thought it was safe to drive again.
Snowmageddon 2: You're welcome, VTLA participants
Snowmageddon 2: Much Snow!
Snowmageddon 2: Global Cooling
Snowmageddon 2: Golden Receiver (Just cause...)
Snowmageddon 2: Return of the Snow
Snowmageddon 2: Plow This
Snowmageddon 2: WHAT???
Snowmageddon 2: Because Snowpocalpyse didn't work...

I'd go see any one of those! Everyone be safe in the snow. Don't drive if you don't have to. I'm off to make a snowman.

Swoopo

I saw a commercial for this website recently, and decided to check it out. It seemed interesting. It's called Swoopo, and it's basically an auction site with a little twist.

Here's how it works. You buy bids from the website for 60 cents a bid. Swoopo puts an item up for bidding - for example, bidding just ended on an HP TouchSmart Desktop. It retails for $999.99. It's a penny auction, which means the price starts at $0.00 and everytime a bid is placed, the price goes up 1 cent. They put a timer on it, and when the time hits 0:00:00, the last person to bid wins the item. But, every time someone bids, time gets added back onto the clock, so often the "last 10 seconds" will last like 15 minutes.

The $999.99 HP computer sold for $5.55. The winner placed 194 bids. So what does this mean? Well, the guy who gets the computer - he's a winner. He pays $5.55 + $92.40 (that's how much it cost him for his bids) + $19.90 (delivery cost) and he gets a real nice computer straight to his house. That's $117.85 for a $1,000 computer. So he wins.

For the site, their income is the 555 bids that were placed. At 60 cents a bid that's $333. Now I'm sure they got a deal, but I don't know how much it cost them to get to sell the computer, so maybe they made money on this item, maybe not. I am sure that overall they are landing in the black. Other items go for $30.00 or more, and a $30.00 item nets the site $1800. So the site wins.

So if the buyer wins and the site wins, who loses? The answer is those who bid, but don't win. On the HP, there was probably some guy who put in a lot of bids, but ran out eventually. We know the bidder bid 194 times. Say someone bid 100 times and wasn't the last bidder. Well that's $60 spent and nothing to show for it. Better luck next time.

It's a cool idea. Paying for bids rather than just having the eventual winner pay keeps prices down for the winner. You can check it out if you want at www.swoopo.com

Awkward Encounters

One of the most fascinating of human interactions is the greeting. When two people see each other, the potential for awkwardness is almost limitless. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. That depends on a number of factors.

The way I see it, there are three important elements (or potential awkwardness pitfalls) to every encounter: body language, conversation, and departure. The tricky part is for a successful encounter, two people must be in-sync on body language and departure, but one-sided in conversation.

Body language. When you see you will encounter someone, a decision must be made. Should you raise your head? nod your head? raise your eyebrows? smile? high five? fist bump? handshake? hug? kiss on the cheek? turn the other way and run? pretend to be reveiving a text message to avoid eye contact all together? take your earphones out, or leave them in and just pause your music? The possibilities are endless. And when two people aren't on the same page, results can be disastrous. I don't know if you've ever witness a situation where one person goes in for the hug while the other goes for the handshake. Oh man. It was just bad.

The hug is like a game of tetris, only the bottom part would be shifting TOO. Who is gonna go low, and who is gonna go high? Or will it be the hybrid diagonal hug? These things are worked out telepathically in milliseconds as the hug is about to happen. I find the best situations are where someone takes charge from far away. They hold their arms out and high, declaring "this is a hug, and I'm goin high." However, this does not always happen.

Society can be blamed for a lot of the awkward greetings that happen. Handshakes are ok for meeting someone, and ok in the workplace, and ok between guys, but too formal for a guy and girl or just girls? Hugs - some guys do them some guys don't? The fistbump goes in and out of style so much that if it was the letter "L" I would never know whether to write Style or Stye. There's so much confusion about social norms that sometimes its just a flat out guess what to go with. But if you get it right, the encounter has potential for success...at least for now.

Conversation. In today's world we have access to virtually every media outlet there is. Not to mention the always entertaining stories of our own personal endeavors. And yet how is it that you can run out of things to say to someone in 15 seconds? Conversation is an important element because it ties directly to the third and final element - departure. Awkward conversation almost guarantees an awkward departure.

The most difficult conversations can be the "walking with" ones. You meet someone, and it is clear you are going the same direction. You have a wealth of conversation topics to bring up, but you don't want to get into something and then have to cut it off at a weird time. Solution: A casual "where you headed" not only opens up potential topics but also allows you to estimate how much time you might have. Knowing this is a key to successful conversation and departure.

Another type of conversation is the "passing by." Here, there is often only an issue where a stop-and-chat might be warranted. This is a big pitfall. One person stops and the other keeps walking = disaster. However, a smile and head raise, a quick greeting, and a over-the-shoulder "have a good one" can be an easy 1-2-3. Some people develop there's signature sayings. The La Fratta "Livin' the Dream" is a personal favorite.

Departure. The final step. As great as a greeting and conversation might be, an awkward departure can shoot you in the foot faster than Nate Kaeding. The trouble arises usually from one of two situations: 1) 1 person thinks the conversation is over, while the other does not, or 2) a disturbing conversation topic is brought up, and another one is not quickly addressed. If you can avoid these pitfalls, you should be able to get through most encounters without too much trouble.

The Estate Tax Vacation...Trouble Ahead

2010 is upon us. 2010: The year of ______. Obviously, that has yet to be determined. But there is one thing I'm pretty conifdent about. December 2010 will be the Month of Pulling the Plug on Grandma and Grandpa.

The Estate Tax has been repealed for 2010 (at least for now, see more below). The Estate Tax, also called the Death Tax, is a tax imposed, as you may have guessed, on the estates of people dying. In 2001, a plan to slowly reduce the Estate Tax was implemented so that by 2010 it would be completely phased out. However, it is set to pick back up again in 2011.

Therein lies the problem - come October, November, and oh-so-especially December of 2010, there will be some rich parents in poor health with some greedy children. The lack of estate tax + the return of the estate tax in 2011. Put it all together, and it's the perfect storm. Grandma and Grandpa are circling the drain, and you're going to tell their children that their $10 million estate will be worth $10 million if they die by December 31st, but will be worth less than $5 million dollars if they die on January 1st.

How is this a good idea? On the Things-That-Are-American List, being selfish and not caring about others, especially family members, ranks pretty high on the list. You might say, "well if someone is going to die soon anyway..." But with advances in science, who knows when someone is really "going to die soon anyway?" This is just going to expand that zone outwards. To children, more time in the hospital is already more bills to pay. You're telling them that more time in the hospital is ALSO gonna mean a whole lot LESS money coming to them eventually? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. It may sound horrible, but you know there's people like that out there. How can we ensure people will get the best possible medical care with such a large counter-incentive? We can't.

So here's the deal. If you are older, have a good amount of assets, and foresee any possible health problems in the next 12 months, and suspect your children might not actually be as perfect as you like to think they are, find someone to be your medical power of attorney who is NOT a beneficiary in your will. They'll make those decisions about giving you a shot without a boat-load of Benjamins breathing down their neck. That's my advice if you've lived a good life, but continue to keep living it into 2011.

Apparently, though, we might not even get there. There's a push not only to reinstate the estate tax, but also to apply it retroactively. So people who might think they struck it big suddenly get a $3 million tax bill. But it's ok. I'm sure that won't cause a flood of litigation or anything. Things will just work themselves out. They always do.

HIMYM: The Tracy Theory

Last night's How I Met Your Mother was the 100th episode for the show, a pretty solid accomplished in this TV age. The musical number about Barney's suits was, for lack of a better term, LEGENDARY. But there was something else about the episode that I enjoyed as well.

We got as close to the mother as we have ever been - Ted dated her roommate (played by the awesome Rachel Bilson) We actually got a lot of details about the mother - music interests, etc. BUT despite referring to her multiple times, we never got her NAME. Older Ted always referred to her as "your mother" and Cindy, Bilson's character, always referred to her as "my roommate." These terms had to have been used at least 10 times.

You might say that they didn't want to give away TOO much about the mother - and so they just kept her name under wraps for now. This is entirely possible. However, I like to think of this as further evidence of "The Tracy Theory"

The Tracy Theory goes like this. In one of the earliest episodes, "Belly Full of Turkey," Ted owes Barney and goes with him to a strip club for Thanksgiving. He's talking to a stripper, who introduces herself as her stripper name, but then says her name is Tracy. Then, older Ted says that's how I met your mother. The kids are shocked. Older Ted quickly says just kidding.

Their shock produced the Tracy theory. The reasoning is that they wouldn't have been shocked if their mom was not named Tracy. For example, my mom's name is Jane. If someone told me a story about how they met, say, a fighter pilot, and her name was Sue, and then said "and that's how I met your mother" My reaction would be "...but my mom is Jane." BUT if they said they met a fighter pilot named Jane, and then said "that's how I met your mother." I would say "are you serious!?!?!??!" Thus, the Tracy Theory - the fact that the kids were shocked indicates that the mother's name is Tracy.

Some people say this was an unintended consequence - something fans came up with that the writers did not think of or anticipate at all. Personally, I think these writers are the best. A ploy like that is totally within their wheelhouse. I'm a believer. I think her name is Tracy, and they went out of their way last night to say "your mother" and "my roommate" over and over again to avoid confirming that.

Of course, the thing about last night is that as close as we got last night, I doubt we'll get that close for a while. They really don't have to revisit her again until they want to wrap the show up and finally introduce her. Well, I will continue to wait.

Awesome TV Actresses

For a couple years now, the Top 3 of my Favorite-TV-Actresses List has been as follows:
1. Kristen Wiig
2. Cobie Smulders
3. Tina Fey

Smulders and Fey flip flop for 2 and 3 from time to time, while Wiig's lock on the number 1 spot is rock solid. Occasionally a dark horse will make a run at one of the top three spots. Sarah Chalke, Jenna Fischer, Olivia Wilde, Jennifer Carpenter, Lea Michelle, they've all made runs. Recently, 2 strong actresses have emerged to challenge the top 3

One of the latest has been rising steadily up the ranks for about a year now: Eliza Coupe. Coupe plays Dr. Denise Mahoney on Scrubs: Med School. She started during the 8th season of scrubs as an intern, and was made a series regular on the new series.



Coupe nails the character: blunt, opinionated, and just generally doesn't care about other people. She tells patients that their conditions suck and sleeps with fatties because they are try hard and are grateful. At least that's the hard shell, even better is her revealing the cracks that show she might actually have feelings without wrecking the image as a whole. Random moments when you can somehow connect with this bizarre character, that's where Coupe is awesome. And the character has really started to shine a lot more now that she's out of JD's shadow.

Coupe's delivery of her jokes is awesome. One of my favorites came from last week's episode: "you and me - we're going to have a stupid jar. Every time you say something stupid, we're gonna put a nickel in that jar, and when it get's nice and full, we're gonna beat you with it." I'm not sure I had seen her smile before last night's episode "our white coats"

Which brings me to my main point. While her character is awesome and I love her humor, Coupe had a bit of a ceiling in climbing high in my rankings because we never saw her without the scrubs on. We saw her out of the hospital/school once or twice, but she never really brought it. That was the case until last night. In a 1 minute span, We got 1) a rare smile, and 2) a shot of Coupe in a dress and with her hair done. To say she brought it would be an understatement. Coupe is rising fast, yet again. Here's hoping Scrubs: Med School doesn't get canceled. But more on that later.

My other oncomer is Jane Lynch, who has done a lot of movies but has recently been playing the role of Sue Sylvester on Glee. Sue is a cut-throat cheerleading coach whose program is threatened by the rise of New Directions, the school's glee club. She makes it her personal mission to bring down the club.



Lynch's portrayal of Sue leaves little to be desired. Her hatred of Will is evident even when she is pretending to be nice. Her Sue's Corner speeches and Dear Diary voice-overs never fail, and her comedic delivery is awesome. One of my favorites: "I will go to the animal shelter and buy you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. Then, on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home...and punch you in the face." Classic. Sue yells "inspiration" at her cheerleaders. Things like "You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded, THAT'S hard!"

I'd say Lynch is right on the verge, becuase I am just waiting for one thing: Why hasn't she sung on the show yet??? We know she can, she's sung before in the movies (my personal favorite was her singing Spanish textbook dialogues in The 40 Year Old Virgin) I cannot wait for it. Of course, apparently Glee doesn't come back til APRIL, so I'll just have to be patient. The top 3 is safe...for now at least.

Youth in Revolt

My first shout out of the new year goes to Michael Cera. Cera's been on TV (Arrested Development), or in the movies (Juno, Superbad, Year One, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)just to name a few roles. The rap on him all time is that he always plays the same character. He does it well, but it's always the same character. This kind of talk was especially prevalent after the release of Year One.

Well Cera stars is the soon-to-be released film, Youth in Revolt. He plays a character named Nick Twisp, who from the trailers I have seen could be very similar to Cera's other characters. But in the movie, Nick creates an alter-ego named Francois, who is more of a bad ass. Francois is ALSO played by Michael Cera, and the two are often on camera together.

And so my hat goes off to you, Mr. Cera. I can think of no better way to beat the "he can only play 1 character" reputation than to play 2 completely different characters AT THE SAME TIME. I'm hoping this movie is a good one, and I hope it helps Cera shake some criticism. Because really, why should we be criticizing him in the first place? Because he does something well? Doesn't make a lot of sense to me, that's all.

Tribe Basketball: Our Time is Now

In the Fall of 2004, William and Mary football took their leap into the ranks of the Division 1-AA elite. A run to the national semifinals put the team on the map in the 1-AA (now FCS) circles. After a couple years of up and down results, the Tribe returned to excellence this year, narrowly losing to eventual champions Villanova 14-13 in the national semifinals.

We've seen it time and time again - all it takes is one season. One year of awesome results does wonders for a program in the years to come. Even when seniors graduate, and results don't always repeat themselves right away, things have a tendency of coming back around.

From early appearances, this could be a breakout year for William and Mary BASKETBALL. The Tribe have never been a basketball powerhouse. In reality, the were cellar dwellers in the CAA. Regular season victims for teams like George Mason and VCU who would go on to pull NCAA tournament upsets. But things have changed, and this years team has potential to do some serious damage.

The Tribe were picked to finish 11th in the CAA in the preseason. That's 11th out of 12 teams. Things looked promising though, fighting to a 9-point loss against Connecticut (now 10th in the nation). A heartbreaking triple overtime loss at Harvard was rough. But since then the Tribe have won ten in a row, and are on the verge of making the Top-25.

Notable victims have included Wake Forest, Maryland, Richmond, VCU, and Radford. Most recently, a 48-47 win at Hofstra was crucial. The Tribe shoot a lot of three pointers. Going 3-18 from behind the arc against Hofstra did not help their cause, but finding a way to win despite the poor shooting shows promise for the rest of the season.

Also helping the Tribe's cause is that the teams we play keep on winning. Connecticut is 10th in the country. Harvard game them a tough game, then beat Boston College. Richmond has wins over Mizzouri and Mississippi State. Wake is 10-2, with a win at Gonzaga and their only other loss coming to #4 Purdue. VCU beat Oklahoma and Nevada. This strength of schedule has the Tribe 6th in the RPI, a computer poll ranking all the teams in the country.

The Tribe are finally getting some well deserved media attention. A mention in a article or a tweet by an ESPN expert has been more and more frequent. After the MD win, Andy Katz, an ESPN writer, did a whole article on the Tribe.

An amusing moment came recently when I was watching the WM - Maryland game. For those who don't know the full name is the College of William and Mary. Comcast Sports Net covered the game. At the very beginning of the game, the bottom score box listed the teams as "MD" and "WSSU." A technical error, no doubt. It was quickly corrected however to "WMU" as in William and Mary University? At the start of the second half they had changed it. I bet some angry Tribe fans got on the phone and called them.

The Tribe are primed for a great season, and here's hoping their awesome play and winning continue. For more on the Tribe, see this article.

Hot Tub Time Machine

One of my favorite parts of going to the movies is seeing the previews. To many people, they are something they just have to sit through, or even plan on skipping ("sure it's a 10:05 movie, but if we get there late it will be alright. We'll just miss the previews.") Personally, I love to preview my cinematic pleasures a few months down the road.

I saw a trailer yesterday for what is without a doubt a must-see movie for me. It's called "Hot Tub Time Machine." I'm gonna say that again, just for effect. It's called "Hot Tub Time Machine." Apparently, it involves 4 guys who, while bored on a guys night, decide to party in a hot tub. Little do they know, the hot tub is actually a time machine, and takes them back to 1986, where the real adventure begins.

In short, it sounds AMAZING. But as happy and excited as i am to see this movie, it makes me a little sad as well. I believe I was born to write movies like this one. A simple ridiculous plot with simple stupid humor - that's my LIFE when it all comes down to it. One day I will write such a movie. The trailer will show - some will groan, knowing they will never in their right minds pay to see that movie. Others will laugh, knowing that they MUST see it. Most will be mildly amused and think maybe. And that's alright, because again - it's just like my LIFE.

With a hot tub time machine gone from my pool of options, my comedy screenplay will have to focus on something else. Ideas to come.

Holidays!

The Trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine - click HERE

Snowed In

The Saga continues. Friday afternoon I completed my Evidence exam at roughly 11:30 AM. A decision was to be made: pack up and go home, or stick around to celebrate another semester's close.

Two factors strongly influenced the decision.
1: A snowstorm was approaching. It would hit sometime mid-afternoon. If I hurried, I could probably beat it home.
2: Due to my bizarre sleep schedule during finals, I had pulled an all-nighter the night before and could feel the tired coming on.

In the end, I didn't want to drive while drowsy, and definitely wanted to hang out with my friends, so the decision was made to stay. I figured it would snow, but be relatively clear for a drive up on Saturday afternoon. At 2:00 on Friday afternoon, my head hit the pillow for a nap. I had multiple alarms set for 3:45, 4:00, and 4:45.

The next thing I know, it is 8:30PM. While I was certainly refreshed by my 6.5 hour nap, I was immediately chagrined by the sight of at least 4 inches on the ground, and the snow coming down hard. I put on some clothes, sent out some texts, and made my way over to Nick, Ross, and Jills. The drive over was iffy. I had hopes of heading over to the Fan a little later to meet up with other people.

Those hopes were quickly dashed. Deliveries stopped running first. Cabs were soon to follow. Frank H. came in and told us how bad the roads were. It looked like I wasn't going to make it down there after all. I stayed at the apartment for a while, then eventually made my way home.

Friday night turned into Saturday morning, and the snow was STILL coming down. I called the parental units, who relayed their orders - I was under no circumstances to try to come home until at least tomorrow. Looks like I was snowed in. Fortunately, Deener brought KRISPY KREMES, so breakfast was had.

There was no travel on Saturday. It's now Sunday Morning. I was able to excavate and brush off my car, but I am still snowed in the dorm. Might leave soon, not sure. Here's the bad: today is my best friend Carolyn's birthday, or as we like to call it, the most unimportant day of the year. The plan was to hang out this afternoon. That is looking less likely. But hope remains! Although it is only 33 degrees, the sun is out! C'mon global warming! Where are you when I need you?

Carolyn: if you are reading this, I am SNOWpefully on my way! Hold on hope.

The Song Completed.

On the TWELFTH day of finals, my law school gave to me,
"12 Look, it's snowing!
11 Machines vending
10 Late night food runs
9 Students carreling
8 2Ls tabbing
7 words a-limiting
6 1Ls sprinting
5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

Finals ended today with a snowstorm. It is still coming down. unfortunately it made it difficult for everyone to meet up tonight. So to those I didn't get to see: congratulations! It's been a fun semester. A few weeks off and then we'll be back at it again.

What's In A Name?

Shakespeare once wrote: "what's in a name?" Names are really important, especially involving products and companies. Having a flashy, cool name can draw in customers, while having a lame name can drive them away.

I don't know how some names get chosen, but sometimes I wish I could have been there. First of all, "mail." These days its a non, its a verb, and more! But advances in technology have led to the far too easy name "snail mail." So here's the idea: when you have a new product or service, and speed is a VERY big part of it, DON'T call it anything that rhymes with the following animals: sloth, slug, or snail. I mean it really is just too easy. But that was way back in the day, so I'll cut them some slack.

In these days though, there is no excuse. Which is why I was ashamed when I discovered there is a service out there called "Weather Undergrond." They compete with weather.com and other weather forecasting websites.

Weather Undergound? Really? I couldn't care less about what the weather is like underground. I am trying to figure out what the weather is going to be like ABOVEground. I didn't think underground weather changed too much on a day-to-day basis. In any case, it doesn't concern me. This seems clear, so I guess they might have been going for another meaning of underground? Like secret? Well chalk another one up on the fail board. When you have a website transmitting all your information to anyone who wants to see it, you are no longer underground. When you show up on a Google search for "weather," you are no longer underground. Although, I guess there is one thing "underground" about your site - not a lot of people know about it. Wanna keep it that way? I'm gonna suggest keeping the name.

So get it together, WU. Your name is not fitting, and not nearly awesome enough to get people to use it. You should really have at least one.

On the ELEVENTH day of finals, my law school gave to me,
"11 Machines vending
10 Late night food runs
9 Students carreling
8 2Ls tabbing
7 words a-limiting
6 1Ls sprinting
5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

Almost There...

On the TENTH day of finals, my law school gave to me,
"10 Late night food runs
9 Students carreling
8 2Ls tabbing
7 words a-limiting
6 1Ls sprinting
5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

Evidence is breathing down my neck. No time for more. The end is near, though!

Basement Carrels

On the NINTH day of finals, my law school gave to me
"9 Students carreling
8 2Ls tabbing
7 words a-limiting
6 1Ls sprinting
5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

Unfortunately, even in this, the most festive of times, we don't have a lot of time for actual caroling. Instead, we are holed up in our carrels. Thus carreling was born.

Carreling differs greatly from caroling in that there is no singing involved. It is not allowed, because the carrels are quiet areas. Carreling also sucks joy and smiles out of you, rather than allowing you to share them with others. Some say carreling is "the gift that keeps on giving." Clearly, whoever said this has no idea what they are talking about. I think "the curse that keeps on cursing" would be more accurate.

All that being said, I am thankful for my carrel. I'm down in the basement, and couldn't be happier about it. Besides the guy next to me, I don't see to many souls down here on a regular basis. What that means is that it's a quite area that actually is...well...quiet. It's got a couple things in common with a casino: there are no clocks on the wall, windows and bathrooms are hard to come by, the light is oh-so-artificial, and you don't have to go to far to find someone who looks depressed.

Sometimes I wonder if time passes while I am down here. When I have my computer up and running, I see the time. But other than that, I really have no guarantees that life hasn't ceased to exist. Hopefully things are ok up there in the real world.

MLIM

There are numerous websites becoming popular these days where "normal" people can go online and share things that happen to them. Each of these sites has a theme, and the story you are sharing dictates which site you should go to. Some of the most popular are fmylife.com, where people go on and share really embarrassing things that happened to them, and textsfromlastnight.com, where people post funny texts they receive. There are others like mylifeisaverage.com.

I was recently told of the existence of a site where people can go and tell their Harry Potter related stories - averagewizard.com. The theme here is MLIM - my life is magical. As an avid Harry Potter fan, this is pretty much the greatest thing ever. People write about performing a Patronus charm in real life or starting a Quidditch team, or making sly, underhanded comments about their teacher's affiliations with Voldermort. A sample:

"Today, I changed the name of my Internet browser to "The Chamber of Secrets". Now, whenever I open my Internet it says "Toshiba is opening the Chamber of Secrets". MLIM."

Perhaps the greatest thing about the site is it's rival hatred of the Twilight saga, or, as it is sometimes referred to on the site, "that-book-that-shall-not-be-named." I must admit I was not aware of the full extent of the Twilight/Harry Potter rivalry before. But I am full support of HP in this one.

With these sites, you have to wonder how many of the things posted actually happened. The thing is, that while the Harry Potter submissions are much stranger, I imagine a much higher percentage of them are true than say, FML. Because the fact of the matter is, some people are huge nerds. Now I'm not judging - I am a huge nerd myself. In fact, averagewizard.com not only gives me entertainment, but has inspired me. I can't say I'll go so far as to join a quidditch team, but you can bet that if I ever come across a child who is convinced there are dementors around, I will perform a patronus charm. MLIM.

Getting closer!

On the EIGHTH day of finals, my law school gave to me
"8 2Ls tabbing
7 words a-limiting
6 1Ls sprinting
5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

Special thanks to Frank, Kyle and Michael for telling me about Average Wizard.

The Next Verse

On the SEVENTH day of finals, my law school gave to me...
"7 words a-limiting
6 1Ls sprinting
5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

OK, I know this one doesn't make a whole lot of sense grammatically (the words are the things being limited, not doing the limiting, etc.), but I liked it anyway, so it made the cut.

Another QuickPost

One more week of finals! The home stretch has officially arrived.

On the SIXTH day of finals, my law school gave to me...
"6 1Ls sprinting
5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

Iceberg Approaches. You're Welcome.

With all that's been going on in the world of sports, politics, and the like, it hasn't really seemed like there's been a slow news day recently. But somehow, this story worked its way through the cracks onto the top stories at cnn.com

The headline reads "Giant iceberg headed toward Australia"

The iceberg, which is twice the size of Manhattan, is drifting towards mainland Australia. However, it's still a ways off, and will not get very close at its current size due to warmer waters as it gets closer.

I just want to say, on behalf of all of us, thanks for the heads up. I mean we all know how fast glaciers can move. If I was in Australia I might start getting my affairs in order. The end is near. Stellar work spotting this one. I mean, those gigantic icebergs, they are tough to keep track of. One minute they're there, and the next minute...well they are still there. And the minute after that. Pretty much in the same spot. I'm thinking I can see how this story will develop: the iceberg will move inches closer to the mainland, while losing inches of size due to melting. Ok, that should cover us for a couple months. Get back to me...in March.

Ok here we go...
On the FIFTH day of finals, my law school gave to me
"5...CAN I JUST HAVE A B?
4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

For more on the iceberg: http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/science/12/09/australia.iceberg/index.html

Holidays!

I've started doing something recently which amuses me to a great extent, I call it "Holidays." Here's the idea: "Happy Holidays!" has become sort of a standard greeting these days. But in reality, the holidays are not happy for everyone. For some people they are depressing or sad, and nothing is gonna change that. So to those people, you saying "Happy Holidays!" is not so much a joyful greeting. Instead, you are just rubbing in their face that your Holidays are probably going to be happy, so take that! Would you wave to someone who didn't have any hands? Why would you say "Happy Holidays" to someone who will not have a happy holiday season? Don't rub it in.

So, instead, I've started saying just "Holidays!" I'm in the checkout line of a drug store, I get my change, and on my way out, instead of "have a great day" or happy holidays," I just say "holidays!" I think it sends the right message: "Hey, it's the holiday season, and well, nothing I could say is gonna change how it's gonna work out for you, so I'll see you on the other side."

The best part of "Holidays" is seeing people's reactions. Most just smile, I'm assuming they must be thinking that I said happy but they just missed it. Some people give me strange looks, but well, that's really not out of the ordinary, so I really don't know if that's the saying or not. Anyway, if you're feeling adventurous, I'd highly recommend trying it out on an unsuspecting person this holiday season.

Annnnd...the next verse of the song.
On the FOURTH day of finals, my law school gave to me...
"4 Cups of coffee
3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

Aliens...Do You Believe Me NOW???

For months now I've been warning people about the threat of aliens. The threat is imminent. But it seems like most have turned a deaf ear. We are skeptics by nature, and naturally wanted some proof. Well, if the government releasing thousands of reports from citizens wasn't enough, maybe this will be.

A truly strange sight was spotted over the skies of Norway recently by people all around the country. The below photograph is NOT photoshopped or doctored in any way.



While it appears this might be projected UP into the sky, that is not the case. The spiral appeared and expanded on its own, and then the blue-green beam of light shot out of the center TOWARD the mountain. And this was no quick flash in the pan. It lasted 10 to 12 MINUTES. Some scientists thought it might have been a Russian missle that malfunctioned and leaked fuel. However, the Russians have denied doing any missle tests in the area.

I'm gonna say it. Aliens. Appearing to one person at a time was working, but its on to phase II now. They need followers and believers. What better way to accomplish this than a mass demonstration of their existence and power. I must say I believe this is only the beginning. More signs are sure to come. This is a classic "starter sign." Priming the pump, if you will. Clear enough to draw people in, but still something that firm non-believers can try to explain. And in a relatively obscure country. I'd say be on the lookout for a clearer, more powerful sign, in a southern, heavily populated country, probably during the day.

If the Earth-invasion plan really has entered Phase II, it seems things are moving faster than anticipated. I predicted most of the human race would have been eliminated by the TrashBerg monster before the aliens came down for good. However, they may have picked up a tip, or perhaps the TrashBerg monster is more developed than I thought. Either way, it's not good. Let's just hope the second demonstration by the aliens is a ways off.

There is of course, another possibility. I didn't want to say it...but the idea that this spiral in the sky could be related to the Large Hadron Collider is not exactly out of this world (pun intended). The matter is under investigation. I'll report back soon.

Now, the next verse of the song.
On the THIRD day of finals, my law school gave to me...
"3 Hours sleeping
2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

QuickPost

On the SECOND day of finals, my law school gave to me...
"2 Printer meltdowns
and an Evidence test without the F.R.E."

First final tomorrow, so that's all for now. You stay classy, San Diego.

12 Days of Finals

Everyone knows and loves the 12 Days of Christmas, well, as it turns out, today (Monday) marks the beginning of a much less loved period - the 12 days of Finals. With Saturday and Sunday included, and lets face it they will be, there will be studying, outlining, coffee drinking, finals taking and the like for the next 12 days. So I thought I would retool the lyrics a little bit, and present a new "Day of Finals" on each, well, day of finals. That way, come Friday the 18th, we will not only have all of our finals DONE, but a song to sing as well

So...on the FIRST day of finals, my law school gave to me...
"An Evidence test without the F.R.E."

And speaking of finals, I did some hardcore Studggie-ing today, that is, studying in my Snuggie. I was rockin it in the Law Library today, and plan on taking it to Boatwright soon. It really was a nice way to stay warm in the library without my arms or hands being constricted. I would not, however, recommend it for long late night study sessions. That fleece will work its magic eventually, and you'll be like Richard in and 8 AM Evidence class - there, but not really there.

That's all for now. Good luck to everyone!

Floppy Disks: Required?

Today I heard one of the most ridiculous things I've heard in a while. My good friend (and Blawegsome reader) Liesl is a 1L at FSU Law. We talked recently and exam policies came up. I mentioned Richmond's flex exam system and asked about theirs. She told me that instead of printing them out, students submit their exams electronically, but also have to save them onto a floppy disk.

I'm gonna say that one more time, not only for emphasis but just in case you thought I made a mistake. Instead of printing them out, students submit their exams electronically, but also have to save them onto a FLOPPY DISK.

Floppy disk!??!?? I hardly know her! Really, though, it has to have been a solid 7 years since I used a floppy disk. With pretty much all students having laptops, that means they all had to go out and buy floppy disk drives that plug into a USB port. Apparently, the employee she talked to at best buy was convinced she didn't know what she was talking about and surely needed something more modern. Typical...yet so understandable.

Let's get with the times, FSU. No one uses floppy disks anymore. Requiring students to use them makes them go buy the drives. And if there's one thing students like, it's not having to buy things. Liesl tells me you, the school provide the actual disks for the students. How about switching to flash drives, eh? Unless you've got some shady operation going where you are getting floppies shipped in for free, I'm thinking giving students flash drives would be comparably cheap for you, definitely cheaper for the students, and would accomplish THE SAME GOAL. Maybe I'm missing something, I don't know.

Floppy disks...ridiculous...

LHC Update and My Best Day Ever

I'm beginning to see the panic, but I'm here to spread the truth: There is no reason to fear. Things may seem like they are headed for disaster, but everything will be fine. I speak not of finals, or H1N1, but really of what is for some the greatest fear of all - the Large Hadron Collider.

You may have been disturbed by the recent news that the LHC was successfully "fired up." You might think this disproves the "LHC Sabateuor" Theory that the Collider's success is being systematically sabotaged from the future. Well have no fear my friends. This initial start up is nothing more that a preparation. The real test won't come until February, plenty of time for something to go wrong. And by "something to go wrong," I of course mean "whoever is sabotaging the LHC from the future to keep it from destroying the universe to sabotage it yet again."

At the heart of all the drama is the idea that if the LHC becomes fully functional and is able to create the God particle, it will have disastrous consequences. One possible scenario has been playing out for us Thursday nights at 8/7 central on ABC. In "FlashForward," ABC's new drama, the entire planet blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds. 20 million people die. Mass chaos and destruction ensues. During the blackout, everyone sees themselves 6 months in the future for a glimpse of a moment.

It was revealed last Thursday that the planet-wide blackout was caused by...you guessed it...atomic particles being smashed together. Large Hadron Collider style.

As evil plots go, the blackout and flashforward is definitely towards the top of the list. First of all, people die - a prerequisite to any evil plot. But it's evil brilliance is that it lives past its moment. It changes things forever. People see a moment they assume is in the future, and it COMPLETELY changes the way they live their lives.

Some people are scared of the future, or more specifically knowing the future. I was recently asked if I would like to know the exact time and date of my death. I think i was the only one at the table who said yes. Here's why - people like to talk about "living like there's no tomorrow." But you can't really ever do that, because you know in the back of your mind that there is, in all likelihood, a tomorrow. If I knew the exact time and date of my death, I actually COULD live like there is no tomorrow.

Some people say their last day would be filled with lots of things they've never done before. But why? You wouldn't get to enjoy the glory, tell people the stories, or just sit there and think "man, remember when I _____?" Personally, I'm really shooting to achieve any huge "first time" milestones long before my final 24 hours. Instead, my last day is gonna be doing my favorite things. Boring? Maybe. Best Day Ever? Most likely.

9:00 AM - Wake up
9:02 AM - Shower
9:15 AM - Get dressed. Attire: Boxers, Socks, Snuggie.
9:20 AM - Watch SportsCenter, eat breakfast: Eggy-in-a-bowl, lucky charms, OJ.
10:00 AM - Jump on a Trampoline. Still in my Snuggie.
10:30 AM - Find some puppies. Play with them.
11:00 AM - Watch How I Met Your Mother. Episode: "The Pineapple Incident"
11:30 AM - Play mini-golf
12:15 PM - Lunch: Tops China - Sesame Chicken.
12:45 PM - Find a craps table, play some craps.
2:00 PM - Pick-up Basketball game (note: this and shower will be the only activities of my day which my Snuggie will not be worn).
3:30 PM - Watch Scrubs. Episode: My Musical.
4:00 PM - Purchase a car and a crowbar. Take the crowbar to the car.
4:15 PM - Take a nap on Mark's Futon.
5:00 PM - Play ping pong (or as the Chinese say, "ping pong")
5:45 PM - Shoot some pool
6:00 PM - Dinner. Food to be determined.
7:00 PM - Bust out the hand-crafted table.
8:00 PM - Attend a professional bball game, leave at halftime.
10:00 PM - Karaoke! I will sing "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child.
12:00 PM - Midnight showing of an awesome movie.
2:45 PM - Blawegsome update.
3:00 PM - Bedtime.

A day full of my favorite things, all done whilst wearing my Snuggie, who could ask for anything more?

Dolphins: Terrible Animals, or Worst Animals Ever?

Though we may not realize it, we Americans are pretty susceptible to brainwash. Hollywood and the entire industry do not exist, as the name might suggest, to "entertain," but rather to spoon-feed us whatever ideas they want. But I must say, it has been nice to see one of their schemes being upstaged by science and the facts.

I speak, of course, of the idea that dolphins are cute, smart and generally awesome creatures. Well someone grab a bucket, because I'm about to drop some knowledge. Dolphins are PUNKS. The media tells us they're beautiful and amazing creatures. Ever seen Flipper? (By the way: an animal that acts almost human-like and helps people in trouble? Real original guys. Ever heard of Lassie?) Or heard a report on how dolphins are almost as intelligent as humans? Well, as it turns out, Dolphins share another quality with humans besides intelligence, one of the most basic of all human characteristics: Irrational violence.

Marine biologists in Moss Landing, California were initially stunned and puzzled by the number of dead porpoises turning up with broken bones, rake marks, and internal bleeding. Well, they've finally cracked the case and identified the culprit: DOLPHINS. These dolphins are travelling around in groups and beating porpoises to death. I'm not talking 1 or 2 here. 74 porpoises turned up on CA beaches last year. With video footage of an attack, the scientists don't doubt that dolphins are the killers here. But they still haven't figured out why. The best they've come up with is sexual frustration. Well, let's run through some other ideas.

1. Dolphins are racists. Dolphins and porpoises are both mammals, but can generally be distinguished by external physical characteristics. Humans have a long history of fearing what is different. Why not dolphins? Dolphins are jerks who kill porpoises because they have a different nose, or can't make sounds.

2. There is a major shake-up in the underwater hierarchy pending. Dolphins are ganging up and preying upon weaker porpoises. People who do this generally feel threatened and act in desperation. It's quite possible that a major power-shift is in order. The Dolphins know it, and they are panicking, trying to hold onto authority as it slips away. But where or who is it slipping away to? 2 words: TrashBerg. Monster. That's right, he's real, growing, and showing his ability to kill fish much more than either dolphins or porpoises. The new King of the Sea is gonna turn these pathetic dolphins into Chickens of the Sea. Laugh if you must, but I wouldn't get on his bad side if I were you. I'm just saying.

Either way, here's a PSA, a Porpoise Saving Announcement. Dolphins: You aren't fooling anyone. News is out that you are a bunch of punks. Word will spread, and no one will buy those clicks and squeaks as cute anymore. They will see you for who you really are: losers. So just knock it off with the ganging up and mercilessly beating porpoises. You aren't making any friends. And soon enough, you're going to need as many as you can get.

Unnecessary Store Employees

It's been a while. Sorry guys. Sadly outlining takes precedence over Blawegsome. Anyway, a couple things,

In continuance of my last post, I recently discovered yet another sweet google feature. If you go to googlegooglegooglegoogle.com, you get one window with 4 different search screens in them. This is pretty cool if you want a really quick way to have multiple pages open without going from window to window, and you dont want to resize all of them and put them in corners yourself. Being the nerd that I am, I naturally used one of the quarter-windows and went to googlegooglegooglegoogle.com to create even smaller windows. I imagine you could theoretically do this forever. Awesome.

I was recently told that when people meet my parents, they are "not what they expected." What this means is that I am the only constantly sarcastic and obnoxious one in the family. My dad tends to be somewhat quiet...around non-family people anyway. Put in the right situation and well, a different side shows. Example: the golf course. My dad uses profanity the way other artists work in oils or clay. The swearing generally comes out the most in two instances: 1) when he is attempting to use some technology, and 2) when he is golfing.

Yesterday on the golf course I went 18 with my brother and dad. On #5, Dad missed a short putt. I'll clean it up a little, but he said "Oh you a-whole...gosh darn it...fudge." As we walked to the next hole, I was with my brother, and my dad was out of earshot. I said "you know, I bet if they kept a tally of the number of times anyone had said those specific words in that specific order, Dad would be #1." He agreed.

At the tee on #6, Dad hit his drive into the right rough. Angry, he shouted "Oh you a-whole...gosh darn it....." and then there was silence. My brother and I exchanged a glance and stayed quiet, just waiting for it. Then, after about 7 seconds, "...fudge..." It was amazing. My dad has a world of swear words open to him, but for some reason this seems to subconsciously be his go-to "bad golf shot" swear.

Anyhow, this trip has opened my eyes to something else, which is the main topic of today's post: unnecessary store employees. I fully support companies creating jobs, but at the same time i really have to question them sometimes.

The Wal-Mart greeter. Theoretically, the idea of someone standing at the entrance of a store welcoming you is a great idea. Often times I go into a store looking for one specific thing, and it would be nice to be able to ask someone right when I walk in which way to head. All this is nice, like I said, theoretically. In practice, though, Wal-Mart greeters are hit or miss. On Tuesday I went into a wal-mart and there was no greeter. Honestly, I was a little surprised. Then I saw him though. This man had to be at least 80, standing sideways staring intently at a 4-year-old girl in one of the checkout lines. He did not move a muscle for at least the 10 seconds I saw him. And lets just say this is not the first weird, creepy wal-mart greeter I have encountered. The moral of the story is: good, friendly wal-mart greeters I can deal with. Creepy ones i can do without.

The Ukrops bag carrier. At Ukrops, when you purchase your groceries, they have people there to carry your bags out to your car. Again, this seems like a nice idea...theoretically. It would be nice to have someone be able to help you with your bags if you needed or wanted some help. But in reality, this is hardly an option. When someone demands that they take my groceries to my car, and they are much slower than me, it just creates an awkward situation. I don't want to walk slowly, I don't want to get my car and wait for you to get there. I don't want to make pleasant forced small talk. I just want to carry my own bags to my car. I think I should be able to do that if I want. Some Ukrops bag carriers disagree. Isn't it bad enough that you aren't open on Sundays, can't I at least get my groceries out the way I so choose?

I hope everyone had an excellent Thanksgiving, and safe travels back if you went away!

GoogleFuture.

We often reminisce back to our childhood or past by saying "hey, remember when ______" and then fill in the blank with some culutral reference. of the past. It can be "Hey, remember when gas was less than a dollar?" Or "Hey, remember when Ross and Rachel were on a break?" slight derivation from the original form is allowed, like "Hey remember VCRs?"

Often these phrases can say a lot about the present. Like "Hey, remember when Google was just a search engine?" Google these days is, of course, sooo much more. It puts the "fun" in "function." There's Gmail, Google Reader, Google Scholar, Google Earth (oh do not get me started on Google Earth...) Google Books, Google Calendar, Google Shopping, i could go on and on. Oh, and my personal favorite would have to be Google Trends, which lets you type in search terms and see what cities have been searching for that term the most. Example: I'd stay away from Richardson, Texas. No US city searched the term "swine flu" more.

When you go to www.google.com, some of the functions are listed at the top. Then there's a "more" link. click on this, and you;ll get a drop down bar with about a dozen MORE apps/functions. Then there's a "even more" link. Click on this, and it takes you to a page listing about 50 functions. You still won't find all of Google's functions here. When you have a more, and an even more link, and that STILL doesn't cut it, things are getting a little ridiculous.

I am sure this post will shoot up some red flags over at GoogleSpy. That's right, I'm on to you. Of course the general public can't know GoogleSpy exists, but I've caught on. Anyway, I mean no threat. Instead, I'd like to offer a few ideas for new Google functions! Full disclosure: some of these might exist already. It is hard to say.

Google Microwave. Point your laptop at a bag of popcorn, go to the Google Microwave page, and it will send microwaves through your webcam to the popcorn bag. This technology is dangerous...but delicious.

Google Superiority. If you type in any good thing about another search engine, it will give you 10 reasons why Google is better. If you type in any good thing about Google, it will agree wholeheartedly.

Google Curfew - Equipped with a motion detector, Google Curfew monitors and logs what time your children arrive home. If they arrive past their curfew, it will disable their facebook, twitter, Gchat, and AIM accounts. Virtual grounding!

Google Spading - Input footnotes, Google will give you citations. Then it will proceed to send a strongly worded email to the author of ridiculously incomplete footnotes.

Google Dispute Resolution. GDR is the new ADR. Two parties tell their side of the story, and google solves the problem, divides up any property, even convinces children that it's not their fault.


The possibilities are endless. Of course, this brings us back to a constant problem. While technology is nice, there comes a point where to make something convenient our computers and technology need to "think" At which point, they will destroy us all and inherit the world. I am firmly AGAINST this idea, for two main reasons. 1) it would mean I would get destroyed. Not comforting. 2) It would severely weaken the credibility of my plot for "Wasted Planet." Humans are supposed to be destroyed by the TrashBerg monster, not google.

So here's the deal, Google. Most of your apps are awesome. But let's not get carried away here and do something we will all regret later. Google Robot is not an option.

Of course, I will likely not be listened to. For more, please see my forthcoming post on how to survive if Google Robots take over the world.

Late Night at the Boat

Here at U of R, The Law School Library closes its doors at midnight. So if you want to burn the late night oil, your best bet is to head on over to Boatwright Memorial Library, the undergrad library. The Boat is open 24/7 (except during a snowstorm, as I found out last winter).

An undergrad library open 24 hours is a new experience for me, as Swem (William and Mary's library) closed early as well. I will tell you, William and Mary has enough strange characters as is. Here in Richmond, you don't see it all the time during the day, but spend a night in the Boat, and the characters will come out.

-There's the girl listening to music so loudly that you wonder if she knows everyone within a 30 foot radius is "movin my hips like yeah" too.
-The guy who can't look at his book for more than 4 seconds without looking up and around the room for a solid 15 seconds.
-The girls who don't seem to have any clue they are in a quiet study area.
-The guys who don't seem to have any clue they are in a quiet study area.
-The guy who showed up for a study DATE only to be disappointed because it is clear the girl showed up for a STUDY date.
-Mr. Braswell.
-The girl who appears to have come to the library at 2 in the morning to do nothing but Facebook and YouTube.
-The constant cougher
-The constant sniffler
-The constant sigher (I really hope this guy's life situation is not so bad as to warrant all those sighs)
-The guy who has to have gone to the bathroom at least 4 times in the last 45 minutes.
-The study group who seems entirely too energized but doesn't have a single cup of coffee or energy drink at their table.

If you are in the library late at night, and you don't see or hear some of these people, ask yourself this: ARE YOU some of these people? Don't feel bad if you are, it just means you fit in. Because we've all got something in common, here on Late Night at the Boat.

QuickPost: A Crazy Stat.

I love sports. Specifically, I love sports stats. I've seen a lot of crazy stats over the years, but this one might just top them all:

Note: Today is November 17th.

The New York Yankees, with 2 wins in November, have MORE November wins than the Jets, Giants, Nets, and Knicks COMBINED! The Knicks have won 1 game in November. The Jets, Giants, and Nets have not won any.

This is crazy. C'mon, New York/New Jersey, you guys can do better than this. 4 teams should not combine for 1 win in 3 weeks. Especially when 2 of those teams are basketball teams and play 3 times a week. Well, in any case, even if the nets and knicks keep losing, this stat will come to an end Saturday, when they play each other, ensuring that this combination of teams will have at least TWO November wins.

Note: with the jets at New England this week, and the giants against Atlanta, it actually could be a little while before the team hits 3 wins to surpass the Yankees. Time will tell.

Suspensions for Meeping

It's time for another installment of "Whatever, I Do What I Want!" This week's WIDWIW award goes to the administration at Danvers High School in Massachusetts.

At Danvers High School, the recent student trend is "meeping," or saying the word "meep." Meep, as in, the sound Beaker used to make on the Muppets. The higher-ups at Danvers high school have decided to take things into their own hands, threatening to SUSPEND any student caught "meeping" in school.

Really? You're going to suspend students for saying a word that means absolutely nothing? Seriously, UrbanDictionary.com defines "Meep" as "the most versatile word int eh English language" and that it "can mean whatever you want it to mean."

Principal Thomas Murray claims that it's not about the word. He says "it has to do with the conduct of the students. We wouldn't just ban a word just to ban a word." With all due respect, principal Murray, it seems like that is EXACTLY what you are doing. You threatened the suspensions after rumors started of a mass-meeping in school. So if it's about the conduct, and not about the word, would you suspend students if they got together and all said "physics!" Somehow I doubt it. And suspension? Really? Does the phrase "let the punishment fit the crime" ring any bells? I'm no expert on the rules of the Massachusetts school board, but I imagine suspensions go on a students permanent record, and are gonna show up on college applications. Red flags like that could be the difference between admission and rejection. Do you really want to put up a roadblock in a 15-year-olds future because he says the word "meep" in school? It's really a shame schools don't have some other form of punishment, something like detention....oh wait, they do.

Students disrupting class repeatedly is one thing. Students using meep clearly in the place of bad words is another. But I really really hope you do not carry out these suspensions for students saying the word in the halls.

Mr. Murray, I don't know the ins and outs of your school. I don't know what other form of punishments you have available, but I imagine there must be something. SUSPENDING students for saying the word "meep" somehow seems a little extreme. So enjoy your "whatever, I do what I want!" award. If I had a trophy, I would send it to you. You could put it on your desk, and show it to parents when they come in and ask why you have ruined their child's educational future.

Animals, Adjectives, and Adverbs

If animals knew what was going on in the human world, some of them would be pissed. I'm not talking about animal cruelty or anything like that. No, I'm talking about something else - animals used as negative adjectives and adverbs.

When your hands are cold, sweaty, and pretty gross to touch, we say they are "clammy." Do you think clams are happy about this? I mean, what have clams ever done to us? They are peaceful creatures - all they do is chill in the ocean until maybe one day they show up in some seafood fry bucket in North Carolina for some happy tourists to gobble up. For all we know, clams could be friendly. But we've gone ahead and assumed that they aren't, slapping them with negativity faster than a D-hall dinner table does to anyone who says something questionable.

Sticking with the ocean-animals theme, why are suspicious things "fishy?" Who is responsible for that? I don't see fish and think that they are up to no good and plotting some scheme to bring us all down. Wait a second...come to think of it, they are giving safe harbor and protection to the TrashBerg Monster, who will in turn destroy us all...alright new evidence has emerged. I'll get back to you on "fishy."

Sloth. Alright, sure these guys aren't showy. They don't scurry around the forest with blazing speed. Some say slow, I say they take their time and enjoy the scenery. But do they really deserve to share their name with one of the 7 deadly sins? That is harsh. Sloths are really upset about this. In fact, they are so jealous of other animals whose names aren't associated with deadly sins, that they are green with envy.



All I'm saying is, what have these animals ever done to us? Why do we degrade them so. We did it with fish, and if they weren't suspicious before, they certainly are now in plotting their revenge. The idea of a sloth and clam army rising up against us doesn't exactly thrill me either. So let's show some respect to our animal friends. Next time someone has cold, sweaty hands, just be real and say they are "cold and sweaty" More syllables? Yes. Worth it in the end? Time will tell...

Human Wrecking Balls and Parkour

On Wednesday, November 11th, a great TV Show returns to the air with all-new episodes - Human Wrecking Balls. Here's the premise - each episode, two professional breakers (like breaking stacks of wood, bricks, etc.), the Pumphrey Brothers, try to dismantle something with their bare hands. And by "something" I mean a helicopter, plane, boat, house, arcade, bar, movie theatre, office, hotel room, or gas station. They have a structural engineer there to explain just how hard it will be to break this stuff. Then the brothers break them.

It really is amazing how these guys completely wreck anything without any tools. It also makes you think about how cheap some of your stuff might be. The best part of the show is that they have a "big break" every episode. It's either something cool that they both want to do, or something really dangerous that neither of them want to do. They have a contest, and the winner/loser has to do the big break. A sample "contest" was to see who could break 6 stacks of cinder blocks. With 6 different moves. And the cinder blocks were on fire.

The ridiculousness of the show is only surpassed by its awesomeness.

Speaking of which, I'm currently watching a show on MTV called Ultimate Parkour challenge. Parkour is a sport/activity that basically involves getting from Point A to Point B in the most creative way possible. These guys do crazy wall jumps, handstand walks, flips, all sorts of crazy stuff. The bad landings are brutal, but most of the whole time, you just stare in awe and wonder how they do things like that. I mean I'm not gonna put it on the TiVo, but it's alright to watch every once in a while.

human Wrecking Balls returns for a new season Wednesday at 8:00 on G4.

More Evidence of the LHC Saboteur

A few days ago, I did a post on the possibility of the Large Hadron Collider being sabotaged from the future. The basic idea is that if the Large Hadron Collider finds the God particle, it will destroy the universe, and so someone or something is going back in time to save the universe by throwing hitches in the development of the LDC. The idea was proposed by two physicists, and was recently featured on the Colbert Report.

If you don't buy into the idea, let me ask you this: what do you need? More hitches? Stranger, more random things that you wouldn't expect to happen? Well then prepare to take one more step towards believing.

On Thursday the LHC suffered extreme overheating in several sections. Why? Because a bird dropped a piece of bread into a piece of equipment above the accelerator ring.

I'm gonna say that again. Just for emphasis. The most recent in a string of breakdowns for the Large Hadron collider was overheating in several sections due to a bird dropping a piece of a baguette into the collider.

This has to be more than a coincidence. But to me, it's even more than proof that the LHC is being sabotaged. It's a clue as to who is saving the universe from the future. They're using birds. This can't go unignored. I'd say 97% of the human population loathe pigeons. It takes a rare breed to love birds, and even rarer to trust them with such a lofty task.

So who is this mysterious person saving us all? We can start to paint a picture. The first person that comes to mind is the pigeon lady from Home Alone. She is mysterious, yet wise. Crafty, yet caring. And she is friends with all of the birds, and they do her bidding. We've got a match. The LHC Saboteur is definitely a descendant of the bird lady.



Our next clue is the baguette. It pains me to believe that the savior of our universe is French. And if you think about it, it makes sense that he's not. The bird dropped a piece of a baguette - which means the saboteur didn't finish his baguette. A French person would never do that.

So that's where we're at. Like the bird lady. And not French. As the clues continue to roll in, we'll get a clearer idea of who our LHC saboteur from the future is. More to come...as soon as they try to fire this thing up again I'm sure.

Snuggie Update

Today marks the 8-month anniversary of the day I became a PSO (Proud Snuggie Owner) It has served me well, and will hopefully continue to do so. Lightweight, yet keeps me warm. Holds up well after a machine washing. I have no complaints. But I've noticed an interesting trend recently. My Snuggie has become, for lack of a better term, "vintage."

I was at dinner on Monday when Mike asked if anyone owned a Snuggie. Always happy to represent, I said that I did. He asked if I had the leopard print one. No, I said, mine is blue. It's old school.

I imagine situations like this happen across the country almost every day. See, recently, Snuggies have been branching out with new products. Today there is the Microplush Snuggie, the latest in Snuggie technology. The regular Snuggie is no longer available in only 3 solid colors - but also in designer print, like leopard and zebra print. There are also Snuggies printed with the logos of colleges (although not all colleges. I received a letter from their marketing company thanking my for my letter requesting a University of Richmond Snuggie, but they were unable to make one.) They are even not just for humans anymore - with the Snuggie for Dogs growing in popularity. Most recent is the Weezer Snuggie - which comes with the band's name on the Snuggie, is twice the price but comes with Weezer's new CD.

It puts us long-time PSO's in an interesting position. On the one hand, I am definitely happy for the company. They deliver a good product, and they should continue to expand. I totally support it. On the other hand though, every new type of Snuggie is a type that I don't have. And the last thing that I want is to be looked down upon because I've been rockin' the Snuggie for many a fortnight.

I've considered upgrading to the Microplush recently. However, at the end of the day, I really don't have to. My vintage Snuggie is still awesome. So really, I guess the only thing to do is to be proud of my classic, keep spreading my message - that you can mock the infomercials all you want, but Snuggies are awesome and better than regular blankets. I recently gave my sister one for her birthday. My awesome legal research professor recently purchased one (which I like to think I have something to do with).

And in a great turn of events that really worked out for me, this happened: My brother and my mom work at the same company. My mom mentioned that her son has a Snuggie. Naturally everyone in the office thought she meant my brother, and bombarded him with questions about his Snuggie, which he had to deny over and over again.

It's been a warm and productive 8 months. Here's to the next being even more so. If you still don't have one, you don't know what you're missing. Don't hate.

Holidays

With Halloween only 364 days away, it can be easy to get caught up in the hype of planning your next costume. But don't get carried away. There are plenty of other excellent holidays on the way before 10/31/2010. And probably a couple you haven't heard of. Let's make like Dumbledore and shed some lumos on this situation

1. Thanksgiving. November 26th. The idea behind Thanksgiving is that people will take some time, reflect on their lives, and be grateful for blessings. But our holiday forefathers were realists. They knew not many people would actually do this. So they cooked up some story about Pilgrims and food to make it a tradition that there would be an elaborate feast with way too much of all kinds of dishes. They built giving thanks right into the system, as in
"Thankfully I don't have to cook anything else for 5 days. We'll just eat leftovers."
"Thank God I don't have to do that many dishes at once again until next Thanksgiving."
"Aunt Betty got snowed in and won't be joining us. No annoying relatives, and more food for me. Of this I am thankful."
Basically, no matter what your outlook on life is, or how much self-reflection you do, you can always be thankful for SOMETHING when there is family and cooking, even if it is that it will all be over soon...

2. Christmahannuboxingkwanzukamas Day. Some people prefer to say "the Holiday season." To them I say, "Really? How do you think that makes the other seasons feel?" Summer, Autumn, Winter, and Spring have been getting cut down for years now. Take Autumn. First, they stick you with not 1 but 2 U's, clearly the worst vowel in the alphabet, then they assign the dreaded "mn" combo? Ouch. This led to most people falling for the easier-to-say-and-spell "fall" instead. Not only is it easier, but it is also a verb, lending it to be used in such phrases as "Spring ahead, fall back." And it's not just Autumn! The proud title of "season" has been getting tossed around more than H1N1. We've got hurricane season, flu season, [insert sport here] season, stop me anytime. Basically, any kind of time period more than a week and a half that has some kind of theme can be called a "season." Well I'm not buying it. Let's give the REAL 4 seasons their dignity back, and come up with a new word for all the fake seasons. I'm going with Hurricane Puppy-Time. No one is gonna argue with something called "Puppy-Time." It's just so adorable, it must be right.

3. Groundhog Day. February 2nd. When New Years Eve rolls around, people make resolutions, promise themselves a fresh start, vow to make the coming year better. Then they fall flat on their face, mess up, and everything is ruined by MLKJ day. Well don't worry, readers. For groundhog day is just around the corner - a day where if you mess something up, you can just get a re-do, and keep trying until you get it right. Sadly, for those of us who aren't Bill Murray, this isn't always a reality. Instead, we are stuck with a day that is exactly like the day before it, and after it, except for one small difference - thousands of people flock to Pennsylvania to see some guy in a coat hold up a groundhog. Thrilling, really.

A big part of it must be the suspense of Groundhog Day. If Phil comes out and sees his shadow, gets scared, and runs back into his hole, then there will be 6 more weeks of winter. But let's face it - this tradition is outdated, and it's value as a prophecy is about as meaningful as a promise from Orlando that he will show up to a flag football game. I'm sure he's scared off by his shadow, and not the throngs of crazy people and flash cameras trying to catch a glimpse. And 6 more weeks of winter? That's clearly a pre-global warming idea. There's no way winter extends into late March these days.

4. St. Patrick's Day. March 17th. Honestly, this one never ceases to amuse me. A holiday completely based on drinking, and the color green. I wonder how St. Patrick would feel about the way his day is celebrated. Upset? Amused? I'll tell you who is furious - all the other saints that nobody knows because they don't have days. They must loathe Patrick. They would probably be green with envy, except that would actually be construed as supporting St. Patrick and his day. There need to be more holidays where one color plays a huge role. I suppose orange is pretty big with Halloween. Brown seems to have some pull with Thanksgiving. Obviously, green and red are Christmas colors. But Green and St. Patrick's Day take them all to the cleaners. Do you get physically attacked for not wearing orange on Halloween? No way. It's this kind of dedication that we need. in all our holidays. Let's associate a color with every holiday, and make drinking said-colored beer an integral part of the celebration. I cannot wait for my pink beer come valentines day.

5. Flag Day. June 14th. It's a sad commentary on our nation that "Groundhog Day" is much more popular than "Symbol-of-our-Freedom Day." I do my best to support awareness of Flag Day. I think it would be more popular if people could create their own flags. It's no insult to America, but July 4th is less than a month away. This year, I will create my own flag, most likely encompassing the spirit of my favorite things that start with "S" - Snuggies, ShamWows, Steve Nash, Snickers bars, Samurai Swords, Sleeping in, and Scrubs. It should be awesome.

Those are just a few highlights, but there is PLENTY of opportunity for festivity and celebrations in the years to come. And I for one cannot wait.